Thursday, November 30, 2006


Off My Feet

No, I haven't been on holiday in some exotic locale. I'm down, way down, with a nasty and lingering case of bronchitis.

Leave it to me to contract it during the holiday weekend. Just got to the doc yesterday.

For now I haven't the energy for anything approximating expression, unless it involves what is euphemistically referred to as Facial Tissue.

Miss y'all. I'll be back in a couple of days.

Mumble over your pop beads on my wretched behalf.

Cough, cough.

Thursday, November 16, 2006


President Asks for More War Funding, Told to Get Paper Route

After requesting more funding for "a big push" to get Iraqi war wins in the U.S. column, President Bush's new advisers, the Democratic Congress, have told him that it's time he learned the value of a dollar.

To assist them, the former President and First Da-da contacted old friends in a red state and wrangled a paper route for the younger Bush, the proceeds of which will be contributed to the war effort.

Former President admitted that he and the former First Lady had been too indulgent with the First Son. "I'm afraid the little fucker never worked for anything in his life," he confessed. "His W stands for Worthless."

A phalanx of Secret Service agents will accompany the President on his route, but he alone will throw the papers. Having subcontracted the route with Halliburton, the First Carrier will be paid $36 per paper, charged to the taxpayers.


We're Fuckin' the Ducks

Hard-ass partisan that I have become since the Uniter-not-a-Divider moved into the White House, I was going to name this post Duhbya Fucks the Ducks. But since Sonny headed for the woodshed with his papa's goons, I have to acknowledge that we can't blame this one on Junior... it's been going on far too long. (Although I do have to wonder what goes on at the pond at Prayer-ee Chapel after the sun goes down)...

This time, though, we've all done it--manipulated by Big Bidness and its advertising minions as to what constitutes The Good Life. The instigation of greed across the races and classes as we reach for our own pathetic slices of American pie. Big Bidness knows that if we all are given our proper little piles of Wal-Mart crap, we'll be too busy playing with it to notice what is really going on.

In the meantime, it's November in New England, and time for some titty-freezing cold. In New England we don't mind that. It's nature's way. It leads to brilliant colors, winged migration, skiable snow, and a solid sap run in February. Or it used to.

It's so warm here that the ducks don't know that it's time to go. They're floating around on Peterson's Pond, having more ducklings (fornicating, as Sister Nancy Beth Eczema would point out, godless little waterfowl that they are). Having no sense. You can forget coming to New England for the annual miracle of the fall colors: they're dull, colorless, washed out, compared to the screaming reds and oranges that I knew just a few years back.

I can't bear to think about the polar bears and their cubs, separated on ice floes from one another.

This is one we all have to own up to. This is one we have to insist on being fixed. Iraq isn't just a foreign policy disaster; it's an environmental one, too, and its implications go far beyond the bombs we dropped on those poor, innocent people. And Iraq is just one disaster that we have helped to foist on the world. We're materialistic chumps who are gulping down a disproportionate share of nature's resources.

We have to turn aside from our toys and demand accountability--not only from our politicians, but from ourselves.

Monday, November 13, 2006


Celestial Biorhythms

Now God wants you to be president, now He doesn't... It tells you something, doesn't it?

That Creator of the Universe is a fickle Fellow. I knew it all along. He was so tempestuous in Genesis, and that's with a capital T. Ready to blow people to smithereens and then talked out of it by one of the patriarchs. Zapped poor Onan for diddling with himself. Sat on His royal Ass when Ham was exiled for seeing Noah's family jewels. Jerked Abraham around on whether or not he would have to sacrifice Isaac.

Wotta power tripper. Duhbya, you can't even begin to compete, though I spoze sending lots of young men and women off to their deaths in Iraq for no damned reason at least gives you bragging rights of the worst sort.

I try and I try, but I can't imagine what Duhbya could have been thinking to act like such a lying sack of shit for the last several years (and those are only the ones I know about) and then expect the Ultimate Endorsement. Puhleeze. He must think that God is a shithead, and his own personal shithead at that.

You have to question Duhbya's devotional sincerity, don't you?

If these folks are so good, so righteous, then why do they have to lie to attain office? Why do they have to turn folks away from the polls and fiddle with their provisional ballots, their absentees, their registration?

I am not naive enough to think that the cultural war these goombahs have been waging is over, but I can hope for an armistice. While the smoke and dust begin to settle, I send this prayer heavenward and earthward, wherever the Divine may reside:

I pray that we the people will make stewardship of our planet among our chief priorities;

I pray that we'll see leaders of sincerity and strength emerge to seek and facilitate solutions to the very nasty mess in which we find ourselves;

I beg for a citizenry and leadership that will recognize the rights of our fellows on this planet to live in dignity and good health, even if it means relinquishing some of our privilege and hegemony.


Friday, November 10, 2006


The Penta-goon is Penta-gone

As celebratory as the atmosphere has been lately, I find myself in mood swings between glee and continuing despair. Yes, Rummy has acknowledged that the picture in Iraq isn't as peachy as he and Duhbya have painted it, and yes, the Dems have dislodged the self-righteous and credulous Republicans.

Now what?

I can't believe that the Commode-in-Chief has suddenly Seen the Light. Nor can I believe that this infusion of Poppy's playmates will provide the mix needed to leaven our lumpen foreign policy. Read up on James Baker III (select a source outside the traditional media) and learn of his ties to Bechtel and all the economic hit tactics that preceded our current disaster.

The truth is that Duhbya's practices have been unapologetic manifestations of the worldwide corporate raiding that has taken place under other presidencies. We've been up to this nonsense for a long, long time.

I can't think of an American political candidate willing to take on our ugly secrets, unless it would be Dennis Kucinich. And after the reading I've done in the last year, I can tell you that if the American public were to find itself ready to embrace his vegan ways, he'd go up in a puff of CIA and corporate smoke.

If there's anything I know, it's how hard it is for the privileged to surrender even a modicum of the edge that keeps them in power.

Again I say, we can't imagine the extent to which our comfort is built on the backs of the underdeveloped nations.

Here endeth this bummer.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


First Lady in Seclusion After Election Disappointment

Hoping to avoid her husband's foul temper and her mother-in-law's blame following the mid-term elections, Laura Bush has retreated to an undisclosed location, according to White House sources.

Photographers glimpsed the First Lady as she slipped away from her husband's post-vote press conference yesterday.

"Laura's always been the scapegoat of the Bush clan when her husband's policies come up for criticism," remarked one observer. "Her mother-in-law has always felt that the President married beneath his prospects."

Random sightings of the First Lady, which were attributed to a blue haze in the countryside, were unconfirmed.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Delightfully Blasphemous

Allow me to present to you Beer Glass Jesus from that inspirational website, Jesus of the Week.

One of the zillions of job benefits that accompany my current occupation are Susan and Kenneth, two theologians who volunteer on Wednesdays. I am in one of my Searching periods, so I pepper them with questions as we work the circulation desk together. "How 'bout that Ham.. did he get a raw deal, or what?", "so, are we really supposed to have dominion over every living thing?" and other profound inquiries. Kenneth actually breaks open Hebrew Bibles and goes into translation consultations.

The path from the sublime to the ridiculous is short and sweet--Susan came in this morning and brought up Jesus of the Week. I was surprised that it was a dot-com... but links will take you to various commercially available ikons, all ready for your holiday shopping list.

Verily, verily... my cup runneth over: theologians and smart asses all in the same bodies! There's an active cosmic conspiracy for my ecstasy!

As Sister Nancy Beth Eczema would say, Praise Him!

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