Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Born-Again Biebers

I can see that Kim Jong-Il has been feeling his oats this week as he launches attacks on a little old South Korean island and shows off his new uranium enrichment facilities and missile silos, must-haves for every tyrant with a small penis.

OK, Dear Leader, I say, but for God's sake, do something about your Look.

Shedding the old N. Korean jumpsuit was a good first step, as you can see here, but then there was the matter of the Do.

No problem, D.L., I say. Justin Bieber has just emerged from the American Music Awards with four nice trophies. Go with a winner! I'm sure he'll see imitation as the sincerest form of flattery. Nobody is more generous, more expansive, than a teenager who's just won a passel of awards. So here's Dear Leader, still as pristine as God or Kim Senior created him. Feel free to slip a clean chuck under his hindquarters.

While we're at it, let's get a few more autocrats into the Beiber bangs. I'm certainly tired of the cow-pie that's sat atop La Palin's parietal lobe since McCain had the bad taste to bring her aboard the Straight Talk Express. (Oops--sorry--wrong campaign.) If only Sparkle Pony had taken her on, counseled her, advised her, helped her sort out her options. Timing is everything. He's moved on, as today's post shows, and we who care must make other arrangements.

Perhaps some of Bieber's looks can enhance her outdoorsy activities on her TV show. I can see her standing in Alaska's mighty rivers, blasting away at spawning salmon with an M-16, wearing this

There are others who might well flourish with a new look as well. Sad
Clarence Thomas comes to mind. (Does Ginny beat him?) Maybe he would actually say something. And smug John Roberts. Maybe it would shut him up, as he waited for the rave reviews to pour in.

I guess it's too late for Dick Cheney--saw him on Sparkle Pony's blog the other day as he lifted a shovel for Dubya's Library of Lies and he seemed on the outer edges of arrhythmia. If you're only as old as you feel, Cheney
must be around nine hundred. He might not make it through a styling session. Still, a new 'do can be transformative...

In the spirit of bipartisanship, I offer these pretty fixes across the aisle.

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