Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Two Ol' Nags Are Heading to the Hitching Post
I never thought I'd be writing this post.We'd watched the whole gay marriage debate from a kind of distance rather than as a couple yearning to wed. To be truthful, I'm not really hot for most ceremonies and rituals. Putting on a funky little gown and plighting my troth has never appealed to me. My partner has always gone bla-bla philosophical about her personal life and the state being none of one another's bidness.
Yet sometime after September 1, the day that Vermont's gay marriage law takes effect, my darlin' and I will stand up before a very select group and Speak the Unspeakable.
As the debate has gone on, the fundamental unfairness of this last vestige of the Last Respectable Prejudice has become increasingly, irritatingly clear. The arguments have never held water, of course, unless the entire planet's married couples are seething, closeted gay wanna-bes rather than the devoted couples we all hope they are. Gay marriage a threat to the institution of marriage? I don't think so.
But what has really pushed me over the edge, after witnessing all the heartfelt activism of those who have gone before, is the idea that anyone would attempt to separate loving and devoted couples in the name of Family. I think of all the partners pushed away at the hospitals from their AIDS patients because they weren't "family." I think of the parents of sick patients barring access to the partners, to their ailing children. In my own family I have a sibling who is perfectly capable of pulling that sort of rank, should I become incapacitated, keeping me from the one person who is my family, potentially wreaking havoc on the will I have written.
So for all these reasons, this history, these wonderful activists, and the very real love, friendship, delight, and wonder I hold for my partner of 19 years, we will take the plunge, tie the knot, link the pinkies. We'll take our vows in the maple grove of a wildlife refuge we've hiked together for years, gathered with a few close and special friends. The Maddie-dog will be the ring-bearer.
So wish us well and know that this law will doubtless unite many of the already united, bringing a little more order and dignity to their already loving lives.
Labels: our gay marriage
