Wednesday, April 08, 2009


Two Ol' Nags Are Heading to the Hitching Post

I never thought I'd be writing this post.

We'd watched the whole gay marriage debate from a kind of distance rather than as a couple yearning to wed. To be truthful, I'm not really hot for most ceremonies and rituals. Putting on a funky little gown and plighting my troth has never appealed to me. My partner has always gone bla-bla philosophical about her personal life and the state being none of one another's bidness.

Yet sometime after September 1, the day that Vermont's gay marriage law takes effect, my darlin' and I will stand up before a very select group and Speak the Unspeakable.

As the debate has gone on, the fundamental unfairness of this last vestige of the Last Respectable Prejudice has become increasingly, irritatingly clear. The arguments have never held water, of course, unless the entire planet's married couples are seething, closeted gay wanna-bes rather than the devoted couples we all hope they are. Gay marriage a threat to the institution of marriage? I don't think so.

But what has really pushed me over the edge, after witnessing all the heartfelt activism of those who have gone before, is the idea that anyone would attempt to separate loving and devoted couples in the name of Family. I think of all the partners pushed away at the hospitals from their AIDS patients because they weren't "family." I think of the parents of sick patients barring access to the partners, to their ailing children. In my own family I have a sibling who is perfectly capable of pulling that sort of rank, should I become incapacitated, keeping me from the one person who is my family, potentially wreaking havoc on the will I have written.

So for all these reasons, this history, these wonderful activists, and the very real love, friendship, delight, and wonder I hold for my partner of 19 years, we will take the plunge, tie the knot, link the pinkies. We'll take our vows in the maple grove of a wildlife refuge we've hiked together for years, gathered with a few close and special friends. The Maddie-dog will be the ring-bearer.

So wish us well and know that this law will doubtless unite many of the already united, bringing a little more order and dignity to their already loving lives.


Smiling for you: blessings on you both.

Pax, C.
The only way I could be more shocked was if I were making that announcement.
Mazel Tov.
She's a lucky dame.
oh congratulations...
( and thank Heavens that Vermont is one more state leading the way)

You bet your partner is lucky..your a wonderful human being that I have so much love and respect for Lulu. Congrats sweet both of you!

Can I post this at Sirens or is it too personal for there?

I am so happy for you both..after a shitty day of CT Scans, medical problems and just bad news in general..this made me smile like a Cheshire cat! ;)

I have been thinking of you ever since I found out about your state's equality coming forward into the 21st century.
wonderful. Wish I could celebrate with you, so I'll celebrate for you.

I think we're a nation of unhappily married repressed seething gay wanna-bes.
Yay!!! Cheers to love & civil rights & equal rights.
Oh what a relief it is.

throws rose petals......

Oh Happy Day!
congrats to you lulu maude! i wish for you and your darlin' all the wonderful things you wish for yourself. be happy.
Congratulations. I wish you'all well! Nice state you got up there. I haven't seen it since I rode the ferry to visit South Hero about 30 yrs ago.
Congratulations to you both.... for your longevity as a couple as well as the upcoming nuptials.

You've lasted longer together than both of my "straight" marriages combined.

It makes me happy every time I hear of long term partners finally getting the opportunity to tie the knot, if they so choose.

Blessings to you both.

Allison from over at
Congratulations to both of you, and best wishes on your upcoming marriage. It's so nice to see a relationship that works.

We have a Democratic candidate for governor here in Virginia who has promised to do everything he can to bring gay marriage to our beloved Commonwealth. That's a brave move in Virgnia, even for a Democrat.
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