Monday, June 04, 2007

 

Cheney Offers Self as Male Role Model for Grandson

In an answer to evangelical critics who believe that the birth of Mary Cheney's son is a "tragedy," Vice President Dick Cheney noted that the word for tragedy in Norwegian is the same as the word for pot pie in Sanskrit, and offered himself as the definitive male role model in the tiny lad's future. He vowed to begin with posture and carriage instruction, as well as to introduce him at an early age to the pleasures of the wholesale slaughter of drugged and penned animals on private estates.

"Not only can I teach little Samuel about the male arts; I can also give him the perspective of privilege," Cheney told a family friend. "I want to be the one to tell him, 'You can do anything you want, because you're rich! The rules don't apply to you!'"

Cheney has seized little Samuel from daughter Mary and partner Heather Poe because he is "the son I never had. Besides, Mary's got a desk at AOL, and Heather is busy with her career as a former park ranger. They don't have time for Sam. He's mine, mine, mine."

Claiming the imperial rights similar to those he has exercised in the Executive Branch, Cheney will have himself declared Imperial Executive Parent, with all rights implied therein.

Comments:
I'm tagging you for a meme - details at my place in about five minutes.
 
Ah what a relief, wee sammy will be in the capable hands of his meglomanical uber rich grand daddy. There is hope after all. And of course as you state lulu maude the first lesson he will learn is when you are as rich as he is, heck no the rules do not apply to you.
 
I love the photo of Dick you selected. That hunchback looks new and the look suits him.
 
He needs to get the kid started on shooting his friends in the face right way. Don't ask me why, I just think it is important that little Sammy master this art.
 
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