Thursday, May 17, 2007

 

Coroner Announces Autopsy Results

It's official: Jerry Falwell was full of shit.

In a report leaked by the coroner's office in Lynchburg, Virginia, the cause of death was "an obstruction in the bowel" that had spread throughout the gay-hating evangelist's body. "He was literally full of it," explained an employee who had to don several high-tech masks to endure the fumes generated by Falwell's autopsy.

"I can see why he was so down on the environment," declared the employee, who asked not to be named for this article. "He was a walking Superfund site." Falwell had called the current concerns about global warming a "Satan's latest distraction" from the more crucial issues of abortion rights and gay marriage.

"If the guy had been able to take a decent shit, who know what ideas he might have had."

Comments:
In honor of Rev. Falwell's bulging colon, I will henceforth refer to constipation as being "filled with the Holy Spirit." Praise Him!
 
So does this mean that flatulence is being filled with the holy spirit?
 
Praise the Lord. (Phwoom!)
 
Being filled with the Holy Spirit, i think that is catchy..i feel the fever of faith coming upon me now. Oh and Divajood, i linked the Katrinacrat to my humble cyber spot..great blog ! Lulu thanks for this autopsy report..it answers many mysteries..i mean we always suspected as much ...but this indeed scientifically confirms it..good sluething !

pp
 
LMFAO!! Best read I have had all day. Bless you Lulu :)

Did you read Betty Bowers eulogy? It was priceless as well.
 
Zippie says:

In one accounting of his death, they described his "beautiful blue eyes." I had to laugh at that one-the slob had such a fat face, who could see his eyes?
 
Are you kicking the man while he's down?
Where's my boots.
 
I am interested in the official autopsy results of Jerry Falwell? Where are they? Maybe there is a story here. May 27, 2007
 
See, all this time I thought it was bacon!
 
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