Wednesday, June 08, 2011
D Students Form Palin PAC
The parking lot at the Wasilla Tastee Freez was abuzz yesterday as a group of Sarah Palin’s former neighbors met to form a new Political Action Committee to advance her campaign for the presidency.
After several Tastee burgers and an untold number of vanilla shakes, the group named itself D Students for Palin and launched plans to propel her all the way to the Whyt (sic) House.
Some members of the group first proposed the name Slackers for Palin, citing the confidentiality of report cards as “what this countries' (sic) all about,” but they were shouted down by others who proudly claimed their lackluster grades.
“Under tremendous pressure from are parents and peers we resisted the attempts of the liberal members of the NEA and AFT to lie to us on the proud traditions of God’s chosen nation. We stood up to the lefties who said bad things about us and the Indians, we have rejected Satan’s attempts to undermine God’s Holy Word in science class, and now we embrace the courage in our personal histories,” declared Danetta Dweeb, spokesperson for the group.
“Sarah knows more about Paul Revere than my AP history teacher,” asserted Don Hamble, who said that he’d crossed over from the Tea Party to get D Students off to a good start. “Well, it wasn’t my AP history teacher, but she taught AP to the stuck-up kids in my school. Anyway, I never went to whatever I was enrolled in. I’ve learned more history from Sarah Palin than I ever learned in school. If we'd have went to school together, I'll bet she'd let me copy her test. I bet she stood up to the stuck-ups in her own school. She's just that kind of nice person."
Among the first demonstrations planned by D Students for Palin is a burning of "incorrect" U.S. history books and a re-enactment of Paul Revere's famous ride, "just like he really did it."
When I was in the 8th grade, I tried to fake memorization of the Preamble to the Constitution on a written test. The results were so absurd that the teacher read them aloud to the class, the members of which erupted in laughter.
Maybe the Ds are for such efforts.
-The late great Frank Zappa