Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Meditation at Ten Below
As I read Dave Barry's 2009 wrap-up today, (which turned hiking the Appalachian Trail into a pornographic activity), I found myself wondering, Does Yo-Yo Ma chase pussy when he's on the Silk Road?A non-sequitur, I know, but let me explain how I got there. Tiger Woods' promiscuity should be no great revelation. I read long ago that he'd bonded with several NBA superstars, who'd mentored him in his meteoric rise to dominate the world of golf.
Basketball players, as Magic Johnson and Wilt Chamberlin told us long ago, used their accountants more for totaling up their conquests than for handling their finances.Their adoption of the Tiger-cub could only lead to an ethos of over-consumption of ladies and luxury boats.
So all we've really learned is that yet another sport ranks high on Tiger's lists of wanna-dos, and that he seems to have been given the physical requirements for performance in its games.
So fine, I thought... focusing on one sport can certainly lead to a desire to play another, as we saw when Michael Jordan had took a lackluster stab at baseball. Motor intelligence is motor intelligence.
But then I found myself pondering the alpha male aspect of the whole thing, which brings in Yo-Yo, also a veteran of road tours, some of them silk. Tiger's own Vietnamese heritage has always offered a sort of inscrutable vibe when it comes to hucksters tying their quests for excellence to his own. I suddenly found myself wondering whether Yo-Yo's drive to become the premier cellist of his time is accompanied by, well, other drives. Inscrutability be damned; these guys who are always on the road have their groupies, whether they are top athletes or over-the-top agronomists. Power and performance are sexy. Even Henry Kissinger scored in his heyday, though it disgusted me to think of it then as it does now.
Then I wonder if sex drive and celebrity endorsements are linked. I'm sure that I've seen Yo-Yo sporting an obscenely expensive watch on some magazine's back cover or another. Does he pitch for any other teams? If his wife loses it and pops him one, will a raft of raunchettes arise with detailed descriptions of his private parts?
Would anybody care? I ask myself if I would, and I can't answer. Of course, Yo-Yo's always been about the music. I only know that he is married by having Googled him at some point. He certainly doesn't present himself as husband and father of the year.
I find myself concluding that I don't care, quite. It's just this, Yo-Yo: don't tell me, or anybody else, a goddam thing. And for God's sake, stay away from sexting and texting.
# posted by Lulu Maude @ 8:23 PM 
Comments:
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I don't want to taint my vision of Yo-yo Ma's musical virtuoso w the tiger Woods style raunchiness.
I think for some, that superstar status leads to further delusions of grandeur.... so many endorsements for mucho $$$$$$, they guy probably has enough money, if managed properly, to never have to work another day in his life. OK he may need to sell a few properties down the road.....
but his too big to fail attitude kicked his ass, and will probably haunt him for the rest of his life-- because he;s no longer the worlds greatest golfer (really? who cares-- remember George Carlin;s schtick about golf not being a sport? Grown men chasing around a little ball & hitting it with sticks!)...
but will be remembered by his raunchy sex life.
He's losing high paid endorsements like Wall Street loses money!
But that's not all-- what if player Tiger Woods winds up getting an endorsement everyone dreads? He could wind up being the poster child for AIDS/HIV.
Thats the risk in the 21st century & when one has multiple sexual partners the way he did, I somehow doubt he took the time to do health screens for each & every player.
So I hope Yo-Yo stays true & has a love affair with music itself.
He's got soul.
Happy New Year
I think for some, that superstar status leads to further delusions of grandeur.... so many endorsements for mucho $$$$$$, they guy probably has enough money, if managed properly, to never have to work another day in his life. OK he may need to sell a few properties down the road.....
but his too big to fail attitude kicked his ass, and will probably haunt him for the rest of his life-- because he;s no longer the worlds greatest golfer (really? who cares-- remember George Carlin;s schtick about golf not being a sport? Grown men chasing around a little ball & hitting it with sticks!)...
but will be remembered by his raunchy sex life.
He's losing high paid endorsements like Wall Street loses money!
But that's not all-- what if player Tiger Woods winds up getting an endorsement everyone dreads? He could wind up being the poster child for AIDS/HIV.
Thats the risk in the 21st century & when one has multiple sexual partners the way he did, I somehow doubt he took the time to do health screens for each & every player.
So I hope Yo-Yo stays true & has a love affair with music itself.
He's got soul.
Happy New Year
Hey Ms. Lulu, Happy New Year, and nice to hear from you. Did you see a bit last weekend about Warren Beatty's tallywacker? It got me thinking about him vs Wilt Chamberlain; who has more pubic scalps on his lodgepole. That's Wilt, NOT Richard Chamberlain, a whole 'nother story.
"Power is the best aphrodisiac." - Henry Kissinger
"All you have to do is look at the carpet-bombing of Cambodia to see what it took him to get it up." -Lily Tomlin
"All you have to do is look at the carpet-bombing of Cambodia to see what it took him to get it up." -Lily Tomlin
I can understand groupies wanting to hook up with YoYo Ma--he's a fucking genius.
If he brought his cello over and played it for me, even I'd be tempted to give him a little.
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If he brought his cello over and played it for me, even I'd be tempted to give him a little.
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