Thursday, July 02, 2009

 

Our Own Beer Garden!

Oh, how gay the summer months are here!

Ask a Real Vermonter about summer, and s/he replies, "In Vermont summer comes every year. If it comes on a Sunday, we take a picnic." A-har!

It's been raining for the last week, with more to come, even on the 4th of July. Our beloved gardens are awash in slugs. Spousie has to soak all our lettuce (and we have had bushels of it) in buckets of salt water to dislodge all the slugs before we have the big ol' salads that dominated the dinner menu in the month of June. Everywhere I look, I see slugs.

We aren't poison-happy gardeners. I did use over a bag of Escar-go to slow down the parade. But our yard is so big and in parts so overgrown that we've had to consecrate the beer garden.

A Beer Garden! The very term summons to mind lasses in dirndls and lads in Tyrolean hats, moving merrily to the sounds of an oompah band. Here in Vermont it means no more than moving serenely to the Great Beyond in a can of beer.

We bury cans with the cheapest beer we can find near various plant-heavy parts of the garden. In the wee hours slugs emerge, head for the brewskis, and fall into one last grand frat party. What a way to go, I tell myself. Should I run into a slug during my usual garden chores, I invite him out for a tall cool one. How about a beer? I ask jovially.

Some sages tell us that we can use alcohol-free beer, but I think that is unnecessary, even cruel. No, slugs, if you are going to meet your maker in our humble yard, rest assured that you will go out in style.

Skol!

Comments:
Woot! That is a neat idea instead of pesticides..and like you say..the slugs go with a buzz-on..the best way to go iff'n your checking out. ;)

Rain..we would love some of that stuff here. It's been triple digits for over a week now. Argh!
 
Getting slugs all fucked up so they drown sounds like Texas to me!
But then, our weather is too dry to even have any of the slimy bastards.
 
OOof-ta Slugzzzz

So log farewell alvetersaine....buh bye
 
Glad to know your Pauli Girl is collecting slugs and not schvantzes!
 
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