Saturday, May 09, 2009


Consider the Elbow

My ass isn't in a sling, but my elbow is.

I took an Ugly Duckling dive off the top step

of the local co-op Thursday evening, breaking my left elbow and a couple of bones in my otherwise flawless face. Surgery is Monday, since the tip of the radius broke off and lodged ever so conveniently in the joint.

Hence the surgery.

I broke my other about arm about 20 years ago, an event which underscored the many virtues of bilateralism. I am currently mourning my involuntary break from sewing and gardening and biking.

At the hospital I had to fill out a form with really subtle questions like, do you feel safe in your hime? Spousie and I looked at each other and laughed. My boss had suggested that I have a tee shirt made up that says, She didn't do it.

I have books on CD and DVDs from the library, courtesy of a colleague and friends. I have Percocet and the wariness that goes with my recovering alkie status on succumbing to too much of it.

What I want to discover is what I can do with just my right hand. (I'm a southpaw). My left eye is pretty much swollen shut, so forgive any typos.

No masturbation jokes, please. I did manage to photoshop this X-ray into some nice colors. There must bo other right-handed pursuits for lefties.

I really liked that elbow. It's going to have a metal plate that'll set off airport alarms for the rest of my life,

Sense of humor will return tomorrow.

Despite what you may think, your sense of humor was not injured in the fall. Don't ration those percocets as it is better to stay on top of the pain than to chase it. I have it on very good authority (the doctor who treated me for a year long bout of sciatica) that addiction to pain meds does not occur when one is taking them for pain. It occurs when one is taking pain meds for fun.
Thanks for that. Good to know.
Oh hell! You know, only left handed people are in their right minds, says a fellow south paw.

Sorry you are going through the surgery dance.

I've had a total knee replacement, and I always set off the metal detectors.... except the one time I did NOT.
Hmmm what kind of bogus detector were they running???

Think of it as YOU testing THEM!!!

I usually tell them in advance- I WILL set off your alarm, and I know the drill, get sent to area B, where you get in the Leonardo daVinci pose- arms & legs spread out, while a homeland security lackey scans you with the hand held wand & pats you down. It's not as fun as it sounds!

It is quick & painless-- but all the time, you are worrying that someone is going to walk off with your stuff on the conveyer belt, while they do this dance.

I'm all for taking pain meds when the pain-o-meter is in the red zone-- especially if they send you for post op therapy.

So hang in there Amiga. Hope everything goes well & you are outta there in no time.

i have a spinal implant, so not only will i set off the metal detectors, but the damned thing is turned on and off with a magnet, so before the battery died (years ago, long story, i hate the damned thing), i would have to do some fast talking when i was told to walk through the detector anyway.

the good news is that you can skip the long lines at the airport. when you tell them that you will set the machine off, they'll direct you to the place where you get felt up.

hope you heal quickly and with as little pain as possible lulu. very, very gentle hugs.
Jeeze I am so sorry to hear this!
And that's true about taking meds for pain when there's actual pain involved--just take them as directed and not just to enjoy blues music or other junkie fun.
I never knew you were a southpaw-you always seems so normal to me.
Let me know if I can send you anything to help with the boredom.
Thinking good thoughts for you today Lulu. Hope the surgery goes well, and pain meds keep you out of the *red zone* on the pain-o-meter.
O Zippie, just keep blogging and giving me something to giggle about. of course i'm a leftie--i've always enjoyed flying under the radar with my more overthetop, less 'normal' friends. now i'm in new england with nowhere to hide.

thanks for your thoughts, fran. surgery went well. now if the old arm would wake up from the nerve blocker--it hangs like a big ol' sack o' sand. i guess it'll wear off today.

my purple face is healing pretty quickly. i think this will be a fairly speedy mend. in spite of everything, i feel good!
Glad to hear surgery went well & You feel good --
or is that the pain meds talking??
I've always told my Tory friends that this country can't fly on just one wing. I expect that you'll prove the exception to that adage. Be well.
Lulu, please try to get some Arnica to rub on the contusions.
It really fades bruising rapidly.
It's hard for me to even think of that adorable little face of yours all banged up.
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