Monday, February 09, 2009
Norman Coleman Endorsed by God, Heavenly Hosts
In an attempt to resolve the drawn-out recount for Minnesota's seat in the U.S. Senate, God, flanked by a Political Action Committee of Heavenly Hosts, made a rare public appearance in order to endorse Norman Coleman for the job.
'It's true--I reallyreallyreally want him to win," the Lord and Creator of the Universe said, panting a little, in an exclusive interview. He was confirming a recent statement Coleman made in which he said that he began each morning with a prayer, and he knew that God wanted him to serve.
When asked why He supported Coleman over rival Al Franken, God replied, "Norm starts every day with a prayer. He will not leave me alone. I need to get him off my back. I have a lot to do besides worry about some six-bit post for Norman Coleman. My inbox is stuffed with pressing business, and every day there is his high-priority message, all in red letters. He's driving me nuts. Sheesh--what a whiner. The sonofabitch has worn me down. He could have my job if he wasn't such a weenie. But there are other weenies in the Senate."
He then gave a downbeat to the Heavenly Hosts, who sang on command with the candidate:
Norman, Oooooooooo-ooooh-ooh
Norman, Oooooooooo-ooooh-ooh
Norman, Oooooooooo-ooooh-ooh
Norman, my Love!
'It's true--I reallyreallyreally want him to win," the Lord and Creator of the Universe said, panting a little, in an exclusive interview. He was confirming a recent statement Coleman made in which he said that he began each morning with a prayer, and he knew that God wanted him to serve.
When asked why He supported Coleman over rival Al Franken, God replied, "Norm starts every day with a prayer. He will not leave me alone. I need to get him off my back. I have a lot to do besides worry about some six-bit post for Norman Coleman. My inbox is stuffed with pressing business, and every day there is his high-priority message, all in red letters. He's driving me nuts. Sheesh--what a whiner. The sonofabitch has worn me down. He could have my job if he wasn't such a weenie. But there are other weenies in the Senate."
He then gave a downbeat to the Heavenly Hosts, who sang on command with the candidate:
Norman, Oooooooooo-ooooh-ooh
Norman, Oooooooooo-ooooh-ooh
Norman, Oooooooooo-ooooh-ooh
Norman, my Love!
# posted by Lulu Maude @ 6:52 PM 
Comments:
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Ha! Do you think the U.S. learned a lesson about politicans who converse with god? I have not heard if "W" the ex decider, is still on speaking terms with the big guy?
If our Senate needs anything.... it needs a comedian.
I'm convinced even god knows this.
Saint Norman needs to give it up.
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If our Senate needs anything.... it needs a comedian.
I'm convinced even god knows this.
Saint Norman needs to give it up.
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