Monday, January 26, 2009


Re-Creating Ourselves

You have to hand it to old Rod Blagojevich; he's really all about re-inventing himself. There he is, on a one-man media blitz to convince the American people that he shouldn't be impeached because he hasn't been found guilty, blah-blah-blah. From getting noogies on The View to trying to snow Larry King, he'll make his case in order to create that reasonable doubt, without all the strictures of a court of law, and without those incriminating audiotapes the FBI compiled. The ultimate changeling, he is Ghandi, he is Martin Luther King, he is King Kong. Most of all, he is you and me, except, of course, when he's not.

For sheer chutzpah, he's hard to beat.

Nevertheless, he will soon need all the help he can get for those legal bills, a fresh income stream, as it were, and here I offer him a chance to develop just that: He's sitting on a cash cow, or rather, a cash cow has generously pooped upon his head. What a gift! He can rent out his wiggy-wig to people with challenges of their own.

Karl Rove, for example, could use a new look. Apparently Congress is closing in on him, and he is all too recognizable in his current form. Imagine the Blago mane as an aura, as something having the power to cloud men's minds as the summons server searches in vain for his quarry.

Then there is Elliott Spitzer, former governor of New York. I know that Elliott's off writing for Slate or some other such second-best pursuit these days, but I wonder what else he's up to. With his predilection for working girls, he could probably use a little cover for his walks on the wild side. Surely Blago's prepossessing pompadour could maintain his precious provacy.

Finally, there' s old Rush. Rush could use a lot of help at the moment; he's gotten virtuous Bill Bennett mad at him for saying that he hopes Obama fails, which doubtless has him stressed out enough to be out trolling for a lot of extra Oxycontin in his spare time. Lord knows he's recognizable. What's a fat, dishonest bigot to do?

Answer: Rent a Rod-'do. You can slip around a city's mean streets undetected. Even if somebody spots you, you resemble a Democrat! What could be more satisfying than thaLLt?

Last, and by no means least, is Larry Craig, who is now out of the Senate and out and about with a great deal of time on his hands. Who knows what he'll do with all that time? But a new self, whether at home or in the stall, would certainly be such a comfort, either to Mrs. Craig or to those chance encounters that are such a rich part of life on the road. I'm sure that Rod would love to contribute to the unlucky solon's luck, perhaps crowning him with a new start.

Some of you are muttering to yourselves that I've sold out, offering aid and comfort to The Enemy. You could say that, I guess, although I have always had a soft spot for the underdog, however vile and smelly.

However, I guess my overriding conviction is my unshakable belief that everyone is entitled to my opinion.

Blago is now equating himself to MLK & Gandhi & Nelson Mandela. From sleazy seller of the senate seat to worldwide inspirational visionary leader (in his mind).... maybe that hair is having an effect on his brain function?
I heard the reason he can't have witnesses in his impeachment trial is because he missed the deadline in which to do so. He was probably busy singing classic cowboy songs while grooming that head of hair, and forgot to get his legal shit together.
Poor Balgo- a victim of his own stupidity-- again!

ps love the Rove makeover....
Karl and Rod have one thing in common~Their need for a very good attorney to keep them out of prison.

Don't ya just love it? I do! So entertaining indeed.

Publishing this puppy in all it's glory on Sirens umkay? ;)
Lulu, I love you!
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