Sunday, December 28, 2008


Lulu's Faith-Based Initiative

He's a very bright guy, but clearly, there are some gaps in his education. Obama, though he is probably nice as pie, still doesn't see gay rights as civil rights.

It's time for a new program for to get those hands across the water.

When Obama chooses Rick Warren to give the invocation at his inauguration, you know that we still have work to do.

In recent days I have found myself wondering, just what gay people has Obama had in his life, anyway? Aside from some silly page in the Senate with a mad crush on him, probably not any.

It seems hard to believe, but it does happen. And if Obama continues to take refuge in what I call The Last Respectable Prejudice, I can't expect much from many of my fellow citizens.

So let's widen the base. After all, most of us homoze and lezbeans are perfectly delightful, even lovable people. God knows that a bigger pack of pleasers has hardly walked the earth before us.

In that spirit I offer an exchange program, based on all those attempts to foist foreign children upon well-intentioned American families, and American kids to host families who can barely feed their own kids, never mind these little gluttons from the land of plenty. This one will feature gay folks dumped right into host households, the better to share our Customs and Lore.

I don't want to gloat, but I've already starting Piloting the Concept, as they say. Here are Ellen DeGeneres and her host family at a Meet n' Greet at the Ramada Inn. She's brought a nice little hostess gift, and you can tell she's about to win over another family for us queer folk. She and Portia have been married long enough for her to hit the road in service of The Greater Good. You go, Ellen!

And Clay Aiken's host family, consisting of a Clay-mate and her teenage daughter Daneeta, are pleased as punch to have their American Idol in their midst. After a couple of weeks they'll see that Clay's preference is no big deal--he's the same sweet guy they voted for Back When. And fatherhood has only made him better, you can bet on that!

We even sent a team to this host family: k.d.lang and Nathan Lane! Here they are, relaxing after instructing the family in the spirited lesbian folk dances of the great Canadian prairie. Later, k.d. and Nathan will prepare an authentic gay and lesbian meal for the whole gang. Fun!

Why aren't we starting at the White House, I can hear you asking. And why celebrities, rather than Just Gay Folks?

I can only say that we have to start somewhere. We're tabulating the responses of our host families and refining our idea of what activities were and were not successful. For instance, we had originally teamed k.d. with Jodie Foster, but Jodie turned out to be too uptight for the assignment. In fact, she recognized the fact before we did. So we hustled in Nathan Lane to save the show. Once he had donned the folk dance gear, we knew we had a winner.

As for the celebrity angle, we were much more likely to get host families to admit the rich and famous to their homes than some little butch who sold motorcycles. Remember also, that the Obamas are now celebrities. It only makes sense that they will be at their most comfortable with other celebrities. That way they don't have to worry about being asked for money or autographs or toenail clippings to be sold on eBay. They can all be famous together.

So I say to my fellow queer folk, Be patient. This young Obama fella is clueless on our rights, or lack of them. But throw people together for some food, some dance, and a little heart-to-heart, and wonderful things start to happen.

Funny post. :)
Lulu! You ought to get an award for coining the phrase

"authentic gay and lesbian meal"

You are being kind & patient about the Warren matter....

I'm not buying it. I;ve actually written the Obama people & said just as Obama would not invite the KKK to be an official part of the ceremony to be "inclusive", neither should discriminating & hateful Warren be included in an official capacity.

Appoint a damned committee to Vet a Minister already.

then bring on the authentic charm & culture....
but how can the guy claim to be a champion of civil rights & invite Warren.

WE have to collectively stop making excuses.
Inauguration day is a good day to start.
You are being way too kind. I personally do not know very many gay people at all. I have known some gay people in my life and have had "gay friends." After all, gay people do not make up a large part of the population, so it is only natural that if you are not part of a gay community you just do not run into many gay people day to day. Nonetheless, you do not have to know a gay or a Mexican or a black person to be for equal rights for all people. I think the fact that bigots would change if they only met a gay person is bullshit. For example, my friend's husband has some gay friends. They have been in her life for years. She has a gay family member. None of these gay people have ever harmed her in any way. As a matter of fact, she is lavished with expensive gifts at Christmas and treated kindly. Nonetheless, she harbors the worst possible thoughts against them and has the most narrow minded views. She was against gay teachers because she did not want her son to start "Tip toeing through the tulips," based on the influence of a gay male teacher. Now that I think about it, I have lots of gay friends. I did not even realize that until just now as I was typing because, guess what, I do not think about their sexuality, I just think about the person. So, it is too giving of you to think that bigotry can be educated out of people. For example, my late mother's best friends were an inter racial couple. My grandparents knew them well and would comment about how whenever they were with "Bill" they never thought of his blackness, they just thought of him as a son. However, the hatred that spewed out of my grandfather's mouth about a black man being elected for President made my bones chill. So, fuck Obama's choice of Rick Warren for the invocation. If he is naive enough to think that he can bridge a gap between Evangelicals and the rest, he needs a lot more education than going to a dinner party with Ellen or what have you. I am so pissed at him right now. Can you imagine what would happen if he asked a Muslim to do the invocation? Or what if he asked a known Klansman or a Skin Head. I do not know why he did this and it is a disgrace. I will not get over it. Whew! I adore you for your level head and your hope that we can overcome prejudice through assimilation. You are on the right track, but I do not have it in me. I just say to Obama, "Have you lost your mind?"
Awesome post, sorry I came late to it. Still cackling over the lesbian folk dances of the Canadian prairie.
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