Tuesday, December 16, 2008


The Heel Marks of Greatness

I sure hope the Iraqi government doesn't mean it.

That Muntather al-Zaidi, the journalist who invested both his shoes in a display of solidarity with his people could be sentenced to 15 years in prison, that is.

Perhaps that was a sort of posturing that one makes when some asshole comes to town to admire the damage he has done one last time before he leaves office:

Museum of irreplaceable national treasures looted: check

Decimation of infrastructure: complete

Slaughter of 800,000+ Iraqi citizens: done

Reduction of citizenry to wild levels of unemployment: got it!

Ineffective tutorials on the joys of the free market economy: yes!!

Infusion of terrorists into general population: you bet!

Dismantling of Iraqi Army; blaming of Iraqis for "not taking responsibility for their own security:" check

When a fella has accomplished all this and more in less than 8 years, he can't help but want to go back, survey the results, and say to himself, "Shucks! To think I did all this!"

And what can a good Iraqi do but give him one --make that two-- of his most precious possessions, his shoes? After all, the debt is incalculable.

The Iraqi government, embarrassed by the treatment of the Guest they are Hosting, is bound to talk tough about retribution for any faux pas, even if the Guest in question came without invitation, the better to destroy the place and take it and its resources hostage. But it's all a misunderstanding, a multicultural mix-up, I'm sure.

What we have run into here are conflicting modes of celebrating the same thing. W goes over, beholds the fruit of his labors, and gloats; al-Zaidi, in his turn, expresses himself with a toss of shoes. They are observing the same accomplishments.

Al-Zaidi's form, athletically speaking, was impeccable. Look at that arm! The wrist relaxed, flexible. It's a tribute to the president's longstanding skill at ducking and dodging that he was able to evade such masterful shoe-handling.

Therefore let us re-name the NFL, from the National Football League, to the National Footwear Lobbers. Let the best of our athletes emulate this brave journalist in their celebration of all that W has done during his administration. Let W be uncomfortable at every football game he attends from now on.

Let them perform forward passes and Statue of Liberty plays with their finest Hush Puppies (which are also made of pigskin), the better to leave their mark on our outgoing Decider.

Sadly, I'm sure many pro football players are probably repugs. A lot of pro athletes are.
I think the shoe guy's effort was the best outgoing gift to Bush anyone could have imagined. If I could I'd buy him 10 pairs of any shoe he wanted, in gratitude.
Lulu-- come visit my blog--I'm taking it a step further. Let us ALL mail the Shrub a shoe & encourage our friends to do so.

It is a great non violent action.

Thousands were already in the streets demanding the release of teh shoe thrower.

They will probably strip him of close access for future press conferences.... but the guy is a national hero. Make that International hero.

Join the Shoe of support campaign.
Greetings Lulu Maude!

How is it that I have not visited you before?

Mistake rectified, please do not throw shoes.

Please do - as another Fran has asked - consider mailing shoes to Bush. Lots of shoes, steel toed boots, shoes with cleats, things that mean something. Maybe even with poo on them.
I am having trouble posting comments and now I am pissed enough to hurl a shoe at Bush myself. I guess I'd be rendered to some awful place and tortured. I know, they could make me write comment after comment on Blogger to no avail.
Hi Lulu Maude,
So nice to hear from you again, and thanks for hanging in there with me. After almost a year of not blogging, it is surprising that anyone cares to look for me! But I've always felt a strong affinity with you for many reasons. So glad to see that your sharp commentary continues, as well as your terrific sense of humor! You are a treasure!
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