Friday, June 20, 2008
Rumsfeld Wreaks Revenge on McCain
Striking back at the man who referred to him as "the worst Secretary of Defense in history," Donald Rumsfeld has declined to endorse the candidacy of John McCain, saying "I'm saving my meaningful public speaking gestures for other things."Rumsfeld emphasized that his dynamic speaking style wasn't up for
grabs for just any Republican."The excitement and drama that I generate is best reserved for someone who will show the same enthusiasm that I feel for sending soldiers out ill-equipped and demoralized so that I can then question their patriotism when they ask me why. Not everyone can fit that description."
The former Secretary indicated that he is "thoroughly enjoying" retirement. "I've set up a private foundation that reaches out to the ordinary working man," he said proudly. "We focus on what we have in
common rather than what our differences are. You'd be surprised at how familiar we can get in the course of one of our retreats."Rumsfeld ducked questions on whether or not he would like to return to public service. "First of all, I can't support my party's candidate. Second, I couldn't work for a darky if my life depended on it, not after the assignments I gave them in the Middle East. Most importantly, however, I'm going to need to give my digits a rest. Notice that I have laid them flat on the lectern while I receive therapy in other parts of my body."
# posted by Lulu Maude @ 2:20 PM 
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