Friday, February 08, 2008


Brylcreem, Walnuts and the Hundred Years War

GOP presidential hopeful Mitt Romney having withdrawn from the race to consider a lucrative offer as Brylcreem's worldwide poster boy, Blue Diamond, a major retailer of walnuts, positioned itself to endorse and promote the presidency of John McCain.

"It's a natural," said a Blue Diamond spokesman, referring to the walnut-McCain connection. "Clearly there is something in Senator McCain's cheeks, and we want the American people to know that our products are contributing to his smile and his stamina."

Nuts are a beneficial food, and as McCain knows, they are a constant presence in the Republican Party. Additionally, they are an excellent source of fiber, Vitamin E, magnesium, zinc, selenium, copper, potassium, phosphorous, biotin, riboflavin, niacin, and iron, nutrients that the 70-year-old senator would need to call upon for sustenance with the demands of the highest office in the land, and more particularly, of the rigors of the 100 years of war McCain foresees to maintain America's interests in the Middle East.

"With President McCain's support, I can see the presence of our nuts in every combat MRE (Meals Ready to Eat). While the enemy may attempt to blow away the nuts of our troops, Blue Diamond stands ready to render assistance, support, and in a modest and limited way, replacement."

Blue Diamond was particularly hopeful that McCain would select Mike Huckabee as a running mate.

"What John McCain can do for walnuts, Mike Huckabee can do tenfold for mixed nuts," the spokesman said.

Glad to see you back in prime photoshopping form, LuLu.
You are a riot! I don't know if you are a Shrek fan, but your McCain depiction reminds me of the King of Duloc. (Happily in the end, he is eaten by a dragon).
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