Thursday, November 08, 2007


BIG Bidness Opportunity!

Goodness. Lulu seems obsessed with the wonderful world of commerce this week, doesn't she? I can only stand back a little and try to disassociate myself from this streak of marketplace enthusiasm that comes from heaven knows where.

Still, this is a big bidness opportunity, and I want to share it with my readers--all three of you!
And I mean it is BIG! Bigger than the face of Jesus on a slice of toast! Bigger than the smallest Thanksgiving meal (not necessarily edible) ever served. And it's on Ebay right now!

(That's my revenge on my tardy readers... check this post tomorrow, and the link will be sad history, your chance at riches forever snuffed.)

The Elvis is Alive Museum, located in Wright City, MO, is on the auction block, with just 8+ hours to go. At the moment the top big is $8300, which isn't much, considering the stock:

1. Legal ownership and rights to the DNA test which compared Elvis' body tissue from two biopsies, to the body reported to be that of Elvis. This DNA test cost $2,200.00. The two DNAs did not match.

2. Two Elvis Is Alive websites, with rights to the two domain names.

3. A 1974 Cadillac limosine like the one Elvis rode in. This is used for advertising purposes in front of the museum. It is fairly low mileage, but time has not been kind to the exterior. It hasn't been started for several years and you should plan to trailer it. The interior is fairly nice.

4. Rights to two different books , authored by Bill Beeny, that detail why he believes Elvis did not die on August 16, 1977.

5. Approximately 250 copies of one of the books that sells for $6.00 each.

6. Approximately 265 copies of the Elvis Is Alive Book, published by Brouden Press in Boston. Retail on each is $13.00.

7. Elvis picture books, approximately 100 copies at $1.00 each.

8. A real casket with an manequin dressed similar to Elvis, several flower sprays, creating an Elvis funeral scene. On the casket are posted 10 reasons why they believe it was not Elvis in the casket.

9. A replica of the tomb of Elvis.

10. 12 heavy duty steel display shelves & 6 wooden display shelves.

11. Miscellaneous Elvis souvenir items.

12. Neon "Elvis" light.

13. 48 pictures of Elvis in frames of various sizes.

14. Over 400 pictures of Elvis, not framed.

15. 1 life sized cardboard standup of Elvis and 1 standup of Marilyn Monroe.

16. A life sized manequin with a sequin dress and a sign that says "Marilyn"

17. Over the tomb of Elvis is an oil portrait of Elvis (See gallery pic). This was painted by a professional artist who normally gets fees in the $2,000.00 to $3,000.00 range for her comissions.

18. There are copies of over 600 pages from FBI files which document the fact that Elvis worked with the FBI and DEA. Just prior to his death, he assisted the FBI in a sting operation on a crime mob. Briefly after, he recieved multiple death threats.

19. A television with two VCRs which play films while visitors are in the museum

20. About 50 different tabloids which have featured Elvis through the years.

21. Numerous files and hard cover books that were donated to the museum by Phil Aitchen of the Presley Commission.

22. a 2 foot plaster bust of Elvis.

As you can see, the King lives, off in the Witness Protection program and probably dividing his time between Sun City and the Kona Coast. You, dear reader, can be the custodian of the truth.

I'm not sure why Marilyn is here (and she isn't enumerated among the stock) except that she's dead, too... or is she? Was Marilyn a DEA agent??

The revelations that await you! The treasures (and web site!!) that will be yours! I was sort of disappointed that the building in Wright, MO, didn't come with the stock, but it probably would be too much of a commute, now that gas is back at 3 bucks a gallon.

Oh dear... digressing again, and at such a crucial time. You must act NOW!

Anyone who has the dough to buy this collection o' crap has to be using money they got from non compos mentos disability payments.

I will buy this collection of crap for you and ship it to New England so you can open your own museum there. It is a bargain at any price.
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