Wednesday, November 07, 2007


America's Senescent Pastor Endorses America's Mayor, Even Though America Isn't a City...or a Church

Evangelist Pat Robertson and Republican Presidential Hopeful Rudy Giuliani took some time out of their occupational therapy session in order to bask in the mutual satisfaction of keeping Americans under the illusion that the Republican Party alone stands between them and another terrorist attack.

Sporting a smart new straitjacket of organic muslin and trimmed with hemp, Giuliani thanked Robertson for his endorsement, noting that Robertson's "experience" and "counsel" will prove invaluable during his campaign. Giuliani bounced up and down on Robertson's lap like a ventriloquist's dummy.

"Isn't he cute?" asked an obviously adoring Robertson. "I feel with him."

In addition, Robertson praised "America's mayor" and declared that his occupancy of the White House would result in the sort of bipartisan professionalism so badly needed in the nation's capitol.

"We can be sure with Rudy Giuliani at the helm that America will likely piss off everyone in the Middle East except Israel, which should lead to a new attack, which will probably lead to a further reduction in civil liberties, which will reinforce our national paranoia, and crank up our national phobias, and eventually, Bingo! We've reined in all those libertines and mental health advocates that we and the Taliban so strenuously object to."

Smiling broadly, Giuliani thanked Robertson for overlooking his connections to corrupt NYC officials those big ol' lies he told about the firefighters in the towers on 9/11, and his shoddy family history. "I think we can work together to make a real difference for America. There won't be an amendment left in the Bill of Rights when we get through," he declared, and then hastily added "except for the Second," when Robertson's eyebrows invaded his hairline.

The two then returned to their beadwork. Robertson is making a new crown for Jesus, and Rudy is hard at work on a cell phone case for his third wife, Judith.

I'm so glad wacko Pat endorsed Rudy. There go the moderates!
Is Oral Roberts still alive? Let's hope (if he is alive) he goes for Rudy, too.
Still I have to ask- who would Katherine Kuhlman endorse?
Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum do make a somewhat amusing duo, at least for the 500 Club crowd.
I wonder what Pat Robertson is smoking?
Maybe Pat is trying to become VP?
Kathryn Kuhlman would vote for Dino--at the piano!! She would be at sea with all this Christian coalition stuff.

Yes, after Oral's big fundraising plea, God did NOT call him home, but he is strangely silent on the political scene. Maybe he's off mastering the rocking of a chair.
I sure wish America's Mayor would make me a new beaded cell phone cover. He could make it out of those recalled bead toys from China that have the date rape drug in them.
Well, well, an organic muslin straight jacket is so fetching ! Bead work? That's a little too close to Catholicism or maybe Buddhism for their constituency, yes?
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