Friday, August 17, 2007


Un-Fair to Remember: There's Just No Accounting for Taste

Just a year ago, in happier times for our Turd Blossom, two ticks carrying Lyme disease to the Leader of the Free World compared notes in the White House infirmary.

LITTLE TICK: I'm chomping on the Pres-i-dent! So who've you done lately?

BIG TICK: I've been sucking on his Brain. I just hopped over to say hi.

LITTLE TICK: Don't be ridiculous. For one thing, he doesn't have one. For another, if he did, it would be tucked away in one of those big, thick skulls.

BIG TICK: Not that brain, stupid. His real one. The smarmy, nasty, lying, no-account one. Anyway, it's his body, which has more brain in its fat little finger than the Pres-i-dent has in his whole body, as the saying goes. And this guy is loaded with body. See how big I've gotten?

LITTLE TICK: (drawing himself up proudly) Still, I have been sucking on the Pres-i-dent of these Yoo-nite-ed Stayts.

BIG TICK: I think my guy would like to be doing that, too.

This is really gross. It reminds me of watching that hunk Jeff Goldblum turn into that nasty fly in the re-make. I implore you to cast Jeff Goldblum as one of the ticks. Pissed of Patricia can do the make-up. This is a really creepy skene.
how are ya?

I didn't know this was gonna be science fiction. That crosses genres, don't it? Romance and sci-fi?
Well, there was a love story in "The Fly," so I guess it's okay.
Good Golly, Bobby. Have you never seen The Incredible Shrinking Man? Rent that movie toot suite and bone up on the classics, for the love of Pete!
Oh, and another thing, Bobby, it is a good thing a moron like you is playing the moronic President in this OSCAR winning filum, because I am playing your wife, and besides the spankings, I will ridicule you verbally throughout the filum and smatter my language with curse words which will increase based on my level of consumption of Chesterfield's, Valium, and Gin.
How are ya?

Not you, Pissy Tutt-Tuttwildtemper. Geezelouise, all I did was aks a question about the combining of sci-fi and romance - perfektly legit in the entertainment bizness. Give a guy a break arredy.
Bobby, show some dignity, please. No need to call people names. You are such a moron, though, obviously you don't watch enough science fiction or you would realize there was always a romantic element. Did you know that I auditioned for the role of the Android that Harrison Ford ran off with in Blade Runner? That was a real romantic part, and a very Science Fictiony filum.
Really, Bobby,
Name calling, and the one you came up with, Pissy Tutt-Tuttwildtemper, for the love of God, stop it.
Thank you.
You have such a level head on your shoulders and such a neat way of making things work out so that everyone gets along with one another.
Pursey, I do try. It's my own special burden. This is why I get to interview people like Mommy Teresa when she was still alive. My perfectly, patient, level head. With the wonderful coif, I might point out.
We all have special burdens but your's is especially special!
Mosquitoes wouldn't bite Rove.
Professional courtesy.
But ticks...!!
Now ticks, I can see.
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