Monday, August 06, 2007


The Wisdom of an American Martyr

It's here at last: Tom DeLay's profound memoir, No Retreat, No Surrender: One American's Fight . According to the blurb from his publisher:

DeLay will also discuss his victories against the odds with the slimmest of margins; his passionate dedication to abused and neglected children; and his battle to fend off a ten-year barrage of malicious and frivolous allegations of wrongdoing, which ultimately led to his decision to resign from Congress.

DeLay, of course, doesn't really miss Congress. While he was licking his wounds he was called by God to save the Republican Party from the blows that voters have recently handed it. And God is so much more fun and more powerful than Jack Abramoff! You should see His new look!

God has taken corporeal dimensions: the Parrot Formerly Known as Spud has been infused with the Holy Spirit and advises Tom on day-to-day matters. He has given Tom a plan for the salvation of America, and for a mere $17.13 ($25.95 if you deplore discounts on books penned by True American Heroes) you can have it, too.

You can use your next tax refund check to purchase this priceless treasure and wellspring of wisdom. It'll be like talking to the Big Guy Hisself.

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