Friday, August 17, 2007

 

In the Midst of Sorrow, Joy!

What's more beautiful than a bride?

Even though Karl Rove is deep in dejection over the severing of his dailiness with the Love of His Life, one of his proteges is going to marry into the family. Isn't that almost as good?

America's First Bride-to-Be was glimpsed today at Mr. Yum Wu's Offshore Bridal Emporium (see poster on worker's rights just behind Ms. Bush) trying on this lovely gown, made from rejected condoms.

"I'd like to be a green bride," Miss Jenna was overheard saying to her mother. "I'm gonna have nothing but organic vodka and maybe this dress."

The dress comes with its own disembodied hand to be carelessly thrown on the wearer's shoulder, rather like a sash, only more personal.

Jenna won Mr. Hager's heart in an arm-wrestling contest on Wet T-Shirt Nite at Lorenzo's Libations, a popular Republican watering hole.

I know that my friends at Live at the Gay Agenda and I will be awash in festive preparations in the months ahead. I hope that something as minor (okay, major) as our basic political differences won't stand in the way our most fundamental belief: Any Excuse for a Party.

I'm fairly a-twitter, except for the yucky reproductive possibilities.

Comments:
How are ya?

The thought of them two reproducing makes me wanna puke. But any eksuse for a party.
 
Partay!
 
Oh,
Fuck me running.
 
Oh, Lulu Maude - that hand on the shoulder is going to be THE new fashion accessory for 2008!

I wonder though, if they do reproduce, will their fetuses be used for stem cell research?
 
Lola,
It is obvious, painfully so, that you know nothing about reproduction. When a woman bears a child, and births it, it is no longer a fetus, it is a baby. Stem cell research is conducted on embryos which is pre-fetus stage. So, the short answer to your question is "No."
 
Lulu,
Pursey is my wedding planner and I am going to use your gown design. I will supply my own hand, so whose do you want for me to chop off? Also, with your medical background, can you suggest who should sew the end of it up and embalm it or something to get the gore out of this fashion accessory. Also, can you come to my wedding, my pre-wedding wedding and can you design all of the clothes. Start with Mom. Then Dad. Oh, the Groom, we can't forget about him, though Lord knows I try. Anyway, then do all the other peoples wardrobes after that.
 
OMG...too funny...and I thought she was wearing dryer lint...but NOoooo it oh so much more...( although 6-6 has pointed out that placing her face on condoms would improve birthco control....)

I am now off to find more bridal ware...I am so inspired...I hope that as wedding planner you keep us informed...
 
I blogrolled you today...had to..
and also you are in my Sunday Roundup...thanks
 
Seriously, the more I see Jenna, the more she looks like her imbecilic father. The goofy grin, the simian brows, the glazed eyes- it's all Dubya on that chick's puss.
Gee, now that she's getting married, I wonder if that's gonna stop her from doing body shots off the shoulders of nubile lesbians in Austin gay bars?
And the dress--if I was allowed to create a garment to make her look as horrible as possible, I doubt I could top this- uhh -confection.
 
Yeah... she's her daddy's kid all right. And I felt very lucky to find her in the right pose, the right clothes for creating this little fashion statement. The hand on her shoulder is her papa's.

Which reminds me, Lola... that's the hand she will need for her Big Day.
 
'skuze me, so but do we hafta chop off the hand for the akSESsory?
 
It would greatly enhance the president's next visit to the troops at Walter Reed if we did.
 
Once Bush visited injured soldiers at Brooke Army Medical Center here in San Antonio.
Upon observing the charred off skin, multiple amputations and closed head injuries on these brave young men and women, that stupid, callous son of a bitch said he too had recently been injured--he'd gotten some cat scratches from chopping cedar at the ranch.
What a Grade A, sociopathic prick.
 
Yep--that's why I say sever the hand. We'll create empathy in that asshole yet!
 
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