Monday, July 23, 2007

 

You Read It Here First

What, ultimately, happens to Harry Potter? Does J.K. Rowling kill him off?

Don't be ridiculous. J.K. Rowling believes in the Sanctity of Life. She also cares deeply for her young readers, whom she would not traumatize the way that callous old Agatha Christie did when she bumped off Miss Marple many years ago.

No, Harry lives. And lives. Before you know it he's up to his eyeballs with a mortgage and car payments like the rest of us. He attempts to use his waning wizard-powers (the stuff of youth) to prop up his sagging libido. Failing that, he takes to the pub for a few pints each night with his mates. He enjoys a good game of cribbage, maybe a little whist, on a Saturday night, after he is asked not to compete in the karaoke contests anymore. He votes a straight Labor ticket till he flirts with the Tories while trying to make a comeback by creating a franchise for Hogwarts, setting up the curriculum in schools that have been boarded up because of declining enrollment. His idea bombs, and for a while he's on the dole until Daisy-love finds a job waiting tables in a local fish-n-chips place.

Harry knows not to be bitter. He is grateful for his glorious youth and remembers those days as fondly as his Bass Ale permits. He takes a passing interest in poetry and becomes something of a nuisance, reciting the one poem he has committed to memory, Wordworth's "Ode: On Intimations of Immortality." He mists over a little as he wheezes:


Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.

Eventually, most of his friends avoid him. He and Daisy have no children.

Perhaps it would have been better to perish in a blaze of youthful glory. However, life holds no guarantees, and J.K. Rowling hopes that each phase of his life will prove to be instructive. Life does go on, and Harry accepts his lot with dignity and grace. Eventually he succumbs when he gags on a haddock-bone which has become entangled in cole slaw. He ends his time in this Mortal Coil bloated and blue.

Have a nice day!

Comments:
OK , I have not read nor seen ONE Harry Potter book or movie and likely never will - lulu Maude that was funny !
 
Too too funny. Coming here via Barbara's blog & taking a look around.
Nice blog you've got here.
 
I want to know the ending without buying the book..is that bad?

You should post this over at Sirens..just a thought..
 
Brilliant ending! So poignant, so real, so tragic.
 
Damn. A spoiler. Don't tell Keith Olbermann, he's a fan.
 
I too am a fan.
He married Ginny and had three kids: James, Albus and Lily.
 
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