TakeYourMedicine

Republican John McCain offered rival Mitt Romney the starring role in a game show during a recent debate, if he would fold his campaign and go away.

"He'd be perfect," McCain said of Romney. "That hair! It's smack between between Vitalis and Brylcream. The daytime audience would go nuts."

Romney pointed out that hair was a key issue in the political world as well. "I never pay anything less than $600 for a cut," he declared as Republicans roared their approval. "You think that the Leader of the Free World gets cheap haircuts?"

McCain, in an attempt to remind voters of his war heroism, said that he still found the best cuts at the PX. "I get a shave while I'm there, too. They're great at working around my special needs."

McCain's shaving routine has become somewhat problematical since he decided to lodge President Bush's testicles in his cheeks. They give him the look vaguely reminiscent of a major league player and a boost of testosterone from Bush's personal pharmaceutical stash. "I don't test positive, but I feel positive," he told an aide.

McCain declined to say which game franchise would best suit Romney, though he did say that Romney's wife, Ann, was attractive enough to turn letters.