Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Cheney, Spector Huddle on Legal Defense Strategies, Share Makeover Tips

Drawn together by their questionable legal doings and strange gun histories, record producer Phil Spector and US Vice President Dick Cheney have gotten together to brainstorm on defense strategies.

Cheney was drawn to Spector out of sympathy for Spector's legal woes when he read about their common interest in mixing guns with friendships. Spector has pulled guns on John Lennon and Leonard Cohen, among others, before going on trial for the shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson, while Cheney finally loosened his inhibitions in order to shoot longtime friend Harry Whittington in the face on a hunting expedition. In a private conversation leaked to this blog, Cheney admitted that it was only a matter of time before he, too, would find himself in the courtroom, though probably not for firearms-related offenses.

Cheney was supportive of Spector, but critical of his two courtroom looks: the elaborately coifed 'fro that Spector wore to his preliminary hearing (above), and that of the lesbian real estate agent that he has featured during his trial.

"Let's face it--the homophobia that our administration has cultivated to distract the American people from our corruption and our bungling isn't going to help you in the jury room," Cheney told Spector. "Timing is everything, and you ain't got it."

Cheney then offered his own look, that of a blatantly boring but privileged felon to whom the law does not apply, for the duration of Spector's trial. He also tried on Spector's look as a dodge, should Patrick Fitzgerald decide that he had convicted the wrong man for the Valerie Plame affair.

"It's good to get together," Spector said after their meeting. "I believe that I bring needed diversity to the Bush administration."

Cheney, for his part, appreciates Spector's creation of the classic 'wall of sound.'"We had it installed at the White House at the beginning of our administration. I don't know what we'd do without it."

You need to submit this for publication. This is the most hilarious creative thing I have read in ages. See if Buzzflash will link to it. Good God Almighty! I Gotta print this one off and hand it out to a few folks.
Hmm, I dunno.
As funny and ironic as this post was, I doubt that Big Dick has ever heard of Phil Spector, unless they covered the trial story on Fox News. And even if they did, Dick would take one gander at Phil, write him off as a liberal faggot musician on drugs and let it go at that.
I doubt that Dick ever delves into any sort of current events because all that seems to matter to him are money and power.
Can you see him and Lynne building homes for Habitat for Humanity after he leaves the VP job?
Nah, we know he won't do anything after he leaves office unless he's given a fat honorarium afterwards.
He's a fat, selfish, mean-spitited asshole and that's all he's ever been. That's his legacy.
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