Thursday, May 17, 2007


Why Crazy Eyes Looks That Way

My esteemed colleague and personal inspiration, Princess Sparkle Pony, calls her Crazy Eyes. But behind her glazed exterior lies a dark tale of white slavery.

That's right. Crazy Eyes is a sex slave, the legalized prisoner of a crazed Christian, coked to the gills with testosterone.

It matters not to Laura's pastor that the First Lady finds herself in this (largely missionary) position. "The Bible tells us, Woman, that you must submit to your husband," he told her when she sought counsel for the nightly humpings and thumpings she has endured.

Laura has attempted to hide behind the family dogs, whom she has posted at her chamber door in a vain attempt to protect herself. That Mr. Bush has selected small dogs, easy to kick from the door, is no accident.

"She is being fucked senseless on a daily basis," confides a White House insider. "As exciting as that may sound, remember the identity of the Fuck-er. His sexual advances echo his foreign policy. You would not want to be his Fuck-ee.

"No wonder she needs to hot-box those Newports. I don't begrudge her one single puff."

I don't understand how he has time for Laura when he's so busy fucking the rest of us on a daily basis. I'm only asking.
Now that is a good point divajood ! And Lulu Maude this PITHY post indeeds answers many questions i have had about Pickles and what could possibly have her looking so crazed. The poor dear ! Pickles smoke as much as your heart desires with any luck and some more xanex she may even succeed in burning down the WH. I am surprised given her state of captivity, she hasn't tried it already..What a long suffering good xtian wife.
Hot-box those Newports..girl are you a smoker too? Only a smoker would know that term.

I also went through all the damn links..jesus christ in a speedo that was a lot of links in one article..but I did love "Live at the Gay Agenda"..blogrolled those wonderful folks :)
Zipdrive sez:

I seriously doubt George Bush can achieve an erection unless he's watching footage of U.S. soldiers being blown to bits in Iraq.
Furthermore, I think a man (or woman) with a robust sex drive tends to be calmer and less likely to want to use that energy on anger and aggression.
But I do think Laura still hotboxes ciggies--being married to that clown makes it okay, if you ask me. And I pray for a small wastepaper fire caused by a stray butt in the White House bedroom.
No, I'm not a smoker. I learned that sublime term from Zipdrive here. It never fails to crack me up in relation to Laura.

It is an established fact that Dubya's drug of choice is extra testosterone, which could have the side effect of making him continually horny.

In rectal-spect, I give this post a big, fat EWWWW.
Zipdrive here:

The term hot-box comes from high school, when one cigarette is quickly shared by three or more chicks in the girl's room.
The cigarette's cherry gets about an inch long and the smoke gets very hot.
Zipdrive again:

I really doubt Bush is filled with testosterone.
In fact, I think his erectile dysfunction is the cause of all his external aggression and need to order the killing and maiming of tens of thousands of innocent people in Iraq.
So, no more posts on his He-Manliness, please. A real man doesn't need to rattle his saber as much as this little weasel does.
No, Zippie. I didn't make this up. He really does take shitloads of testosterone. The link is for real.

I agree with you on one point: a real man doesn't need to rattle his saber. But then, he doesn't need to take testosterone, either.

Laura could only pray for erectile dysfunction. As I said, his technique n doubt matches his foreign policy.
My really long comment did not save because I did not save it. Crap. Oh well, I really had a lot of mean things to say about Laura and that dolt she is married too, but none of them are worth repeating. Dusty, thanks for the blog roll, I will do the same. Lulu, thanks for the link. This post is a big EWWWW, but since I don't think George has sex with Laura I guess it is easy to get over the EWWWW factor.
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