Friday, April 13, 2007


Rove's Emails Join Early Rapture Contingent

Though most Americans are unaware of it, Karl Rove's four years of emails departed early in April as part of an early-call rapture group.
"The chance came up for us all to go," Rove told White House insiders. "I'm still working on creating a permanent Republican majority, but I told the emails that they'd be better off out of the sphere."
The opportunity arose because the leaders of the current administration have been given Rapture Gold cards. These cards will help to extricate them from whatever awkward political situations arise as their pecadellos become better known.
Former Congressman Tom DeLay asked to be allowed to accompany them. "The firm, perky breasts of the young ladies being taken up are wasted on emails," he insisted. "They need the appreciation of a genuine, persecuted Christian male."
DeLay is not expected to depart any time soon. He has been left behind to shred unsold copies of his book into garden mulch.

NOBODY expected that emails would be called up in the Rapture! My god, look what theocracy does for us all!
Lulu Maude,

We frequently pass as ships in the night.

How rude of me not to peruse your excellent blog sooner.

I can't see we share anything in common other than upright Christian values - I am as indolent, and sedentary as you are not; however, I have enjoyed reading you and wish you the best.

Warmest regards,

I didn't know you could rapture an email. How cool is that? I am really sick to death over these scumbags continuing to get away with everything. Jesus, what does it take to bring these criminals down? I am losing faith here.
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