Thursday, April 26, 2007
Laura, George Claim Commanding Lead in Suffering Derby
According to First Lady Laura Bush, she and "their President" suffer from the Iraq war more than anyone, and she offered to take on anyone who said otherwise."Don't mess with her when she gets That Look," said a source close to the Bush family. "She honestly doesn't think that other people have feelings. The very idea makes her furious."
Mrs. Bush has entered the president and herself in the Oppression Derby, a contest that awards pain and suffering points to participants in various cataclysms. Although the two failed to muster a competitive score in the Hurricane Katrina event because they had not spent time in the Superdome, Mrs. Bush is confident that they will take the lead in the Iraq war. "You get extra points for starting it, don't you? Especially if you get caught in a lie about it, I'd think."
Mrs. Bush pooh-poohs the idea that families of injured soldiers or the soldiers themselves have any standing in the current competition. "They don't know what it's like to duck funerals, pay contractors, and fire U.S. attorneys while you're ineptly conducting a war against innocent people," she points out. In addition, Mrs. Bush suffers from the heartbreak of psoriasis, another point-gainer for the overall team score.
"We ought to have this contest wrapped up before January of '09," she has told friends.
She probably likes that Bushie spends more time getting hot over death and destruction than he does getting hot over her.
Same with Lynn Cheney. You think she wishes Dick would ravage her?
Not according to her soft porn lesbian thriller!
: 11:44 AM She also knows what it is like to kill someone, and that made her suffer more than any soldier who is trained to kill. She didn't even have any training. She feels robbed.
She suffers nicotine fits, which can be blinding, when she has to stay in public too long. That is why she doesn't throw State Dinners. It would be torture. The woman suffers, let me tell you.
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