Friday, April 20, 2007
Alberto Gonzales Glimpsed Swimming in de Nile
While administration officials discussed their disappointment in the recent testimony of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales before the Senate Judiciary Committee, Mr. Gonzales was spotted swimming fully clothed in the Nile."I would resign if I felt that I couldn't be effective in my department," the embattled A.G. told subordinates who stood holding towels on shore.
Administration officials felt differently. "We do not think that Mr. Gonzales has the skills to continue here at Justice," said an aide close to President Bush. "We expected a more fluid and creative lying style from someone with legal experience. 'I don't recall' isn't worthy of someone of the attorney general's stature. We expect an entire, parallel universe to be created before a Senate Committee, not a simple case of absent-mindedness."
Gonzales, treading the water of de Nile, disagreed. "President Reagan didn't remember a thing, and everybody loved him," he said, referring to the former president's testimony during the Iran-Contra hearings. "Nobody questioned his inability to recall whole chunks of his administration."
"President Reagan did not have a legal background," said the aide firmly. "The rest we attributed to the onset of Alzheimer's disease. Mr. Gonzales has no such excuse. He is a lousy liar, a pathetic prevaricator, and a mediocre misrepresentor. Clearly, it's time for some new blood in Justice."
Mr. Gonzales, busy with pulling the leeches from his suit, had no additional comment.
That's not de Nile, it's de Rio Grande. He's actually trying to get to Mexico, where he can restart his career as their abogado general.
: 11:19 AM Great catch Lulu. I do not blame the administration one bit, he was clearly not up to their standards in the lying department. He could have laughed a little and then said stuff about 9/11 and the terrorists and he did not even try. I am starting to think he is plain lazy. He lets his staff do all the fun stuff, like firings, taking the fall, etc. while he just sits on his duff. He's too lazy to even lose his emails. Jeesh!
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