Friday, March 09, 2007

 

Say It with Flowers! Scooter Libby, FTD Create 'Pardon Me' Signature Line

Inspired by the entrepreneurial flair of ex-convict Martha Stewart, Scooter Libby today inked a deal with floral giant FTD to create a signature line of Pardon Me bouquets and planting designs.

Featuring the Pardon Me dwarf day lily, the Libby line will be "perfect for any occasion, from the faux pas to the felony," said an industry spokesman, "from the unfortunate fart to lying to the FBI. This is going to be big--bigger than our Halloween Boo-quet."

"The Pardon Me day lily's time has come," declared Libby, as he stood on the steps of the FTD building to announce his line. "Looking a little pale? A Pardon me corsage can accentuate just how pathetic and wan you have become. Perfect for that sentencing hearing!"

Libby is hoping that his new Pardon Me sweat band will send a message to his friends in the White House. "What's great about this sweet Leilani look is its eye-catching nature. People get busy with launching new wars and forget to keep in touch. This one says, 'Pay attention! I'm dyin' here!'"

Finally, the Pardon Me boutonniere is for that very special formal evening. "If anyone will let me into party fundraisers, this will be my choice," Libby said, adjusting the sprig behind his right ear. "It's important to get the ear placement just right. On the right is what you want. The right says that you are an evangelical anti-terrorist freedom fighter with latent homosexual tendencies. Wear it on the left side, and you're saying, 'I'm into peanut butter and chains.'"

Touched by the FTD Pick-Me-Up teddy bear gift and daisy bouquet he received after the jury found him guilty in his recent trial, Libby realized that he could speak through flowers, too. It was then that a sympathetic nurseryman introduced him to the Pardon Me day lily. He immediately contracted with three perennial farms specializing in the attractive plant.

"We're not going to stop at arrangements and corsages, either," Libby declared. He has persuaded White House gardeners to plant a blazing bed of Pardon Me's just outside the Oval Office.

They will bloom continuously through January 20, 2009.


Comments:
Thanks for the heads up, I need quiet a few of those for the unfortunate farts, and a few others for the intentional farts. I don't know what to do about the ear piece, I am a combo of the left and right. Would it make a statement to wear it on the nose? Look, Lulu, good people like Scooter always come up with the best ideas, like his delicious novel where he got the grand notion in his fantasy brain to lock a child up in a cage and force her to have sex with a bear to make her frigid. Now how many people, besides Scooter, could come up with this idea? None, I tell you. That is why the creative genius with the Aspen leaves turning came up with the 'Skuse Me flowers.
 
Pardon me for the misspellings.
 
I hope Scooter has to spend at least a few months in jail.
I say throw him in with the general population wearing his garland of flowers and "Scooter" emblazoned on the back of his jumpsuit.
Them bears in prison would love that scenario.
 
I like the "pay attention" headband, as he is surely sweating these days, despite the bland appearance to the contrary. And those 'behind the ear boutonierre's' could hide those little microphones, always a handy knack when hanging around in government offices. I think he could make a whole line of Pardon Me accessories - screensavers, mouse pads, limo cushions - I mean why stop at flowers??
 
You are so right. They could help to pay his legal fees.

Poor doofus. He thought the big Dick would appreciate his loyalty.
 
Hopefully, he has a tell-all book in the works. I'd buy it.
 
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