Friday, March 02, 2007

 

Santorum Daughter to Undergo Exorcism

Little Sarah Maria Santorum, whose distressed countenance mirrored the family's disappointment during her father's concession speech last November, will undergo exorcism at the vestry of St. Thomas's Catholic Church, a spokesman speaking on conditions of anonymity confided today.

The younger Santorum daughter has become possessed by the mouth of Dick Cheney, sources close to the family say.

"Our progress in Iraq is awesome," she has been known to declare in catechism class. "Saddam was behind 9/11. I never said that. Al Quaeda's on the way over here if we lose over there. Did I say that? I didn't say that. Don Rumsfeld's the greatest secretary of defense this country has ever had."

Santorum himself is opposed to the exorcism. "She's speaking the truth about two-thirds of the time," he said as he objected to the ancient rite, which will begin at 1 o'clock this afternoon.

It is Mrs. Santorum who insists on the ritual. "It's the mouth," she told intimates. "I just can't live with that mouth running amok on her face. That hand on her shoulder also creeps me out."

Sarah Maria has been promised a hot fudge sundae and a new Laura Bush doll if she undergoes the exorcism.

Comments:
Good lord, Lulu,
I hope she survives. Some whacked out priest and a bunch of nuns were just convicted for killing a young nun during an exorcism. They changed her to a cross (naked i think) and she starved to death. Let us all pray that the de-Dickification is performed in the safest conditions. Are they going to have to give her a pacemaker?
 
I think that their main task was to remove her Dick.

She needs our prayers, to be sure.
 
Lulu,
I meant to say in my earlier comment that they "chained" the nun to a cross. Instead I said they "changed" her into a cross, which would have been more interesting but it is not true.

I will pray they remove her Dick safely and quickly. That child has enough handicaps already, she doesn't need to be stuck with that Dick.

By the way, I posted a tribute inspired by you at Live at the Gay Agenda.
 
The Santorums must love their lttle girl a lot. What other parents would buy costumes from "Little House on the Prairie" just to make their child happy?
 
You are mean spirited person. I can imagine the damage you did as "school marm". Stay a way from children.
 
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