Friday, March 30, 2007


A Dizzy Spell

Oh, dear. Where did March go? And how did I end up on the library's team for the community spelling bee?

It was a heap of fun last year. I wasn't on the team. Its members wore glasses on strings, buns on their heads, and severe blouses. They were the Buns of Steel. The rest of us cheered and made fools of ourselves.

Making a fool of myself: my proper role.

I'm a pretty good speller, overall. However, it takes no time for the sadist calling the words to progress from bagel and crayon to opusculum, and then on to amphoriskos and cavaquinho. What's an urceole? Sounds like something you'd see in a dermatology textbook. Ew.

My darlin' and I had fun going through the 12 page, 9 point helvetica list, at first. I love words, love the sensation of them rolling off my tongue as I check out pronunciations and meanings of beautiful and exotic strangers. I learned, for example, that my spouse is a nullifidian. Who'd have guessed? After 17 years, this revelation! (That's a person with no religious belief, though it sounds less confrontational than atheist, and quite possibly a land, one invented by Jonathan Swift, at that. It's due west of the land of the Lilliputians.)

The recreation broke down when I finally went to the doctor about the muscle spasms that have had me popping ibuprofen for the last month. She gave me a scrip of cyclobenzaprine (I find myself checking the spelling on the label), which has reduced me to zombiehood for the past five days. I have been sitting and staring into space until about 7:30 or 8, at which time I say in an echo-voice, "Time for bed."

Last night and this morning I pissed away valuable study time trying to create team tee shirts.

At least today I am wearing no monkey on my back. My trapezius muscles will have to stiffen back up for a day, while I glance at the sheets off and on before The Main Event tonight, which starts at 6:30.

I don't think I'll embarrass my team. But I probably won't lead it to victory, either.

Big ol' sigh.

I thought that cyclobenzaprine was a drug used to prevent cyclones.

But I could be mistaken.

Feel better. Bonne Chance on the competition.
Buns of Steel, you must sport one! Best of luck! I'll be spelling things in my head all day and all night to root for the team. Good luck with those muscle spasms.
How odd that I am currently reading Gulliver's Travels. My Winter fling gave me 15 volumes of classic lit for Christmas and that was one of them.
How serendipitous.
Did I spell that right?
Yep, Zippy. We finally fell to catadromous.

There's always next year. It's surprisingly fun. I should have studied more and spent less time on our tee shirts.
Good luck with your spelling bee. I am protesting it in spirit!
Next year I plan to offer a suggested spelling list to the organizers, based on all that I've learned from Sister Nancy. I think that we can do a great deal to make the event more uplifting:
1. fornication
2. abomination
3. mascara
4. Rapture (points off if not capitalized)
5. homosexual agenda
6. onanism
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