Tuesday, January 16, 2007


Teletubbies Step Up for Surge

George W. Bush's war on terror received a boost today when PBS's Teletubbies announced from the Green Zone that they had volunteered to be part of the troop build-up in Iraq.

"Tinky Winky is being included under the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' clause," confided a friend of the Fab Four. "Frankly, the military is spread so thin that the Commander-in-Chief can't afford to be fussy. Some of the Cub Scouts went home to find and found that their mommies wouldn't let them go. The Tubbies don't seem to have mommies, a fact that makes them better candidates for the military."

Military strategists were working on a plan that would keep the celebrity Tubbies away from units that were dominated by Skinheads, who might take offense to serving alongside the cuddly quartet. In the meantime, Dipsy was balking at surrendering his favorite black and white hat for the regulation issue camouflage helmet. "Bup-a-tum, Bup-a-tum, Bup-a-tum," he said to his commanding officer. "Sounds philosophical to me," he replied. "I see no problem here."

Military watchers immediately criticized Mr. Bush's acceptance of the Tubbies into the fighting units. "He promised them big hugs," said Waldo Fennemann, of the Children's Advocacy. "There aren't a lot of big hugs in on the front lines."

Mr. Bush replied that the interests of the Teletubbies are perfectly compatible with those of the U.S. Government. "Tinky Winky lists his interests as walking, marching, and falling over," he declared through White House Press Secretary Tony Snow. He'll have plenty of opportunity to pursue these interests, especially the last one."

Jerry Falwell, who "outed" Tinky Winky in 2005, applauded the Tubbies' enlistment. "May God's will be done, especially with the purple one," he prayed at the altar last Sunday.

The Tubbies themselves remain upbeat. "Fi-dit, fi-dit, fi-dit, fi-dit," said Po.

"See?" said Snow. "That's practically the Marine Corps slogan."

Honey - you have the BEST sense of humor! Lord but that was funny – and snarky as hell. Thanks for the smile. And you are right, of course. Bush does look silly. The entire concept is ludicrous. If only people weren’t going to die as a result.
love the swirling oil and the rampant swords and your wicked humor. it could all be true.

I heard that The Wiggles also tried to sign up, but they're Australian.
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