Thursday, January 04, 2007


Harriet Miers Quits White House, Wants to Spend More Time Skateboarding

White House Counsel Harriet Miers submitted her resignation today, saying that she wanted to spend more time with her skateboard.

"I just woke up one day and asked myself what I was doing, hanging around an admittedly cute President and trying to pretend that I respected his mind," Miers told a confidante. "Then I realized that hardly anybody liked him anymore, including me. Besides, I'm getting pretty good on this thing," she said, pointing to her skateboard. Our source indicated that Miers was increasingly vexed by Bush's nickname for her, Bird Legs.

Miers began "shredding" as a way of working off the stress of her job. She has become a local fixture at area skate parks but has longed for the longer season available in Texas.

Mr. Bush said that he is sorry to see Miers go, but wishes her a "gnarly" retirement.

Obviously you've never been to a state park in Texas. All the trails are either gravel or mulch. No traction for a skateboard.
Good newws! They're putting 'em in out back of the mega churches to rein in the young 'uns of the flock. Harriet has been instrumental in spearheading this innovation.

Praise Her!
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