Monday, January 29, 2007
Cheney: Tubby Was My Inspiration
In an unusually candid interview, Vice President Dick Cheney revealed today that since boyhood, he has modeled himself on Little Lulu's boyfriend, Tubby.
"Some boys want to grow up to be president," Cheney told a Fox News representative. "I just wanted to be Tubby."
The resemblance is uncanny, insiders say. "Dick's relationship with Lynne parallels Tubby's with Little Lulu. Tubby always supported Little Lulu's ambitions, just as Dick hauled Lynne's batons to her twirling competitions. Tubby went on to head up major corporations, frequently gobbling up CEO benefits. Dick followed in his footsteps."
Like every young man with a mentor, Dick eventually went his own way. "I'd say that manipulating my country into war in order to drive up my company's profits is my individual contribution to the Tubby legacy," Cheney said. "I also decided to have pupils in my eyes."
Though Tubby is now compost in the heap of comic book history, he lives on in the Vice President. "I may be the second most powerful man in the world, but deep down, I'm just Tubby," he admitted, flashing that crooked smile.
"Some boys want to grow up to be president," Cheney told a Fox News representative. "I just wanted to be Tubby."
The resemblance is uncanny, insiders say. "Dick's relationship with Lynne parallels Tubby's with Little Lulu. Tubby always supported Little Lulu's ambitions, just as Dick hauled Lynne's batons to her twirling competitions. Tubby went on to head up major corporations, frequently gobbling up CEO benefits. Dick followed in his footsteps."
Like every young man with a mentor, Dick eventually went his own way. "I'd say that manipulating my country into war in order to drive up my company's profits is my individual contribution to the Tubby legacy," Cheney said. "I also decided to have pupils in my eyes."
Though Tubby is now compost in the heap of comic book history, he lives on in the Vice President. "I may be the second most powerful man in the world, but deep down, I'm just Tubby," he admitted, flashing that crooked smile.