Friday, December 01, 2006

 

Bush Suspends Iraq Study Group, Forms Iraq Pep Squad


President Bush today suspended the Iraq Study Group guided by his father's old friend, James A. Baker III, and launched his newest initiative, Operation Cheer 'Em On, an effort to boost both military and civilian morale.

"The President is drawing upon his cheerleader background," Press Secretary Tony Snow told reporters at a hastily convened press conference. "It's a natural."

It is indeed a natural. From his prep school days on, the President realized that in sports a fella could get hurt out there, while the greatest danger to a cheerleader would only be a sprained ankle from hopping around the sidelines and maybe a bum toe from a dropped megaphone.

"We don't need more troops in Iraq. We don't need more body armor. What we need is the perfect cheer," said the Exciter-in-Chief to his newly formed troops.

"I have worked hard to find the perfect cheer," objected Karl Rove, relunctantly drafted into the squad.

"Sorry, Turd Blossom... this is my territory," the president is said to have said.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice is said to have protested. "I am fundamentally an academic."

"You are fundamentally a pom-pom girl, if I say you are," he is said to have replied.

"The Lord moves in mysterious ways," commented conscript Tom DeLay.

Contrary to expectations, the President has no plans to take the pep squad to Iraq.

"A fella could get hurt over there," he is said to have said.


Comments:
When I was studying journalism in college, my professor insisted the word was spelled, "pompon."
Now she's still teaching college and I make more money than her. :D
 
Pompon?!?!?!

Obviously an academic, like our dear Condoleezza.
 
You are a hoot! This is wonderful!
 
Oh my God,

I couldn't even read the post yet, the picture was so great I had to stop by and tell you that. I have no idea what is going on with the issue, but I have always thought of Bush as the perpetual cheerleader. Seeing him in costume is a sight to behold.
 
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