Sunday, October 29, 2006


President Bush Will Host New Game Show

The Bush Administration announced the creation of a new game show, Gut the Constitution, which will both remind voters of the possibility of another terror attack on U.S. soil and give contestants a chance to win prizes as they find a way around the provisions of the Bill of Rights.

The President himself will act as the show's host.

"We want to remind voters that the Republicans are the get-tough party of choice when it comes to the hobgoblins who threaten our way of life. We may not fund Homeland Security or provide plans to protect our water and food supplies, but no one can erode civil liberties like we can," said a Presidential panderess Karen Hughes, who will serve as the show's announcer.

Under the colored buttons lie the various amendments to the Constitution. They will flash randomly until they land on a particular amendment. Contestants will then be asked hypothetical questions on how to circumvent the amendment and asked to select the most Republican of the multiple-choice answers provided.

A sample question might be, "It is acceptable to torture trick or treaters when (a) they are over fourteen years of age (b) they are wearing masks deriding Republican officials (c) they refuse to allow examination of the contents of their bags (d) all of the above."

The answer is still being debated by the President's advisors as they vet questions before a variety of fundamentalist focus groups.

I heard the answer to the sample question is "all of the above."
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