Saturday, October 14, 2006

 

Bush, Hastert in Successful Political Surgery for November Contests

Political impressario Karl Rove took his skills in a new direction yesterday when he smuggled embattled Republicans George W. Bush and Dennis Hastert into the old Walter Reed Army Hospital for what the President/Hastert later called "electoral surgery."

"See, we didn't have to have it, which makes it electoral," said Mr. Bush from atop Mr. Hastert's portly frame. "Karl calls it 'cogitive dissidence,' 'cause it's gonna mess with voters' minds."

The two had insisted on wearing lab coats rather than patient gowns for the surgery, declaring that the latter garment failed to cover their asses.

"Always gotta cover your ass," the President declared.

Mr. Hastert was elated to be the recipient of Mr. Bush's body. "Think I'll take a bike ride," he remarked, adding that the massive doses of testosterone in the President's frame would put his wife and concubines in shock.

"Dennie's definitely getting the better part of the deal," confided Mr. Bush. "But I'll get tongues waggin' in Illinois, that's fer sure."

Democrats attacked the move, saying that the Republicans were pursuing the same old moves.

"Nothing's changed, except now Laura gets to be as grossed out as Mrs. Hastert."

Laura Bush was vacationing behind a smokescreen of a carton of Newports and was unavailable for comment.


Comments:
The very first thought that came to me was, oh shit, that's gross. Funny but it left a gross taste in my mouth. :)
 
This is typical of the clandestine manner in which this government has been run more for political interests than for the interests of the populace.
 
Well, talk about your basic bait & switch! But they're still left brainless. I'm just saying.
 
Newports- ha ha ha!!
 
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