Saturday, September 30, 2006


Too Good Not to Share

> by Toni Smith
> *"I hear the voices and I read the front page and I know the speculation," the president told reporters in the Rose Garden. "But I'm the decider and I decide what's best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the secretary of defense."
> George W. Bush
> Well, it took me awhile, but I finally realized what "I'm the decider," reminds me of. It sounds like something a character in a Dr Seuss book might say. So with apologies to the late Mr. Geisel, here is some idle speculation as to what else such a character might say:
> I'm the decider. I pick and I choose.
> I pick among whats.
> And choose among whos.
> And as I decide
> Each particular day,
> The things I decide on
> All turn out that way.
> I decided on Freedom
> For all of Iraq.
> And now that we have it,
> I'm not looking back.
> I decided on tax cuts
> That just help the wealthy.
> And Medicare changes
> That aren't really healthy.
> And parklands and wetlands
> Who needs all that stuff?
> I decided that none
> Would be more than enough!
> I decided that schools
> All in all are the best.
> The less that they teach
> And the more that they test.
> I decided those wages
> You need to get by,
> Are much better spent
> On some CEO guy.
> I decided your Wade
> Which was versing your Roe,
> Is terribly awful
> And just has to go.
> I decided that levees
> Are not really needed.
> Now when hurricanes come
> They can come unimpeded.
> That old Constitution?
> Well, I have decided-
> As "just Goddamn paper"*
> It should be derided.
> I've decided gay marriage
> Is icky and weird.
> Above all other things,
> It's the one to be feared.
> And Cheney and Rummy
> And Condi all know
> That I'm the Decider -
> They tell me it's so.
> I'm the Decider
> So watch what you say,
> Or I may decide
> To have you whisked away
> Or I'll tap your phones.
> Your e-mail I'll read.
> `cause I'm the Decider -
> Like Jesus decreed.

I know you have a partner, but can she just go away so you can come to Texas and marry me?
Brilliant piece, little miss.
Oh, wait.
You didn't actually write it.
So, is Toni Smith available?
Fabulous! LOL!
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