Thursday, September 21, 2006
Bush Acknowledges Presidential Incompetence, Calls for Coronation
President George W. Bush finally admitted that, as a U.S. President he was a complete failure, but added that he would make "a heckuva king." He called on the Republican Congress to stage his coronation before the November elections.Bush told reporters that he had gotten the idea for the coronation from the media. "Y'all kept talkin' about my Imperr-al Presidency, and once I stopped thinkin' about that ole margerine commercial, I kind of liked the idea. So I decided that I'd be happier as king. I realized that the divine right of kings was a lot more up my alley, bein' as how God wants me to lead this great nation."
Members of the president's circle were only mildly surprised. "He has long expressed contempt for the Constitution," one noted. "For one thing, it doesn't allow him to chop off heads. I do think that he'll be much happier with the duties of a king. He was pretty much raised as a pampered prince."
There had been some White House discussion as to whether Mr. Bush would adopt the title of King George I or King George II, in deference to his father. Mr. Bush had suggested King God II, but had indicated that he could be satisfied with Good King George.
Members of the porcelain industry are eagerly waiting for the setting of the date. "We're going to sell a lot of commemorative plates and figurines," confided a spokesman.
# posted by Lulu Maude @ 8:31 AM 
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