Thursday, August 10, 2006


Self Help

What's more American than self-improvement? Since Ben Franklin wrote "The Way to Wealth" back in the early days of the Republic, we've had our nostrils flared in the never ending pursuit of perfection. The New York Times Book Review has a separate best seller list for Advice, How-To, and Miscellaneous. At the moment we can access best selling books to control our mutts, develop millionaire minds, drive our lives with purpose and learn the ABCs of manliness. We can buy computer software that will help us to write the Great American Novel. With a little digging we can apply the secrets of cannibalistic spider sex for the development of genius.

In the library I am fondling the magazines. It's part of the job. I catalog, add, subtract to the collection. In them lie the secrets to our perfectable selves. America, the land of opportunity!

Fix Your Figure! Get Him to Notice You at a Party! Teach your children to get rich and stay rich. Take off 10 years. Build bombproof knees. Get a toned body in 3 moves a day. Get Mary Louise Parker in the sack. Dress for power. Lose belly fat. Get six-pack abs in just minutes a day.

I turn 60 on Saturday. I need a nap.

Happy Birthday sista! Stay cool-you know you can!
Happy Birthday, cutie. exactly did they say one could get Mary Louise Parker in the sack?
I would never suspect you were wee.

I take naps..hell, you ain't alone lady ;p
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