Sunday, August 20, 2006


Mel Makes Pilgrimage to Chocolate Virgin

Actor Mel Gibson took some time out of rehab to make a pilgrimage to Fountain Valley, Calif., to the Blessed Virgin Mary on display at the chapel of Bodega Chocolates yesterday.

"Of course we allowed him to go," said an anonymous source at the rehabilitation facility at which Gibson has been staying since his tequila-fueled meltdown in Malibu. "All our residents are here of their own volition. Besides, it's as Gibson reminded us--he could buy and sell us multiple times."

Gibson had to be restrained initially from attempting to bite off the Blessed Virgin's chocolate head. Onlookers said that he had hoped to internalize the statuette's healing powers for his recovery.

The employee stationed to oversee Gibson's audience with the Blessed Chocolate Virgin said that Gibson spent time in open-hearted prayer once the icon had been restored to the plexiglass display container in which She rests.

"He asked for some relief from the splotchy baldness that's developing on the top of his head. He asked that the Jews in Hollywood and the liberal media stop picking on him. He wanted God to forgive him for endangering his career, which he believes to be a divine gift."

After his tete a tete with the Blessed Virgin Gibson bought several boxes of truffles and bon-bons, signed a few autographs, and was whisked by limo back to rehab.

"I hope he doesn't abuse the bon-bons," fretted an employee. "The cocoa liquor content is off the charts."

That chocolate virgin started out to be only 2 inches high. I guess she spotted Mel Gibson and grew into full butt-plug size.
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Chocolate is so pliable. And miracles are miracles.
Actually, the Virgin looks more like a big ol' bird o' prey (wings folded).
You're right, Lulu. Looks like an owl to me.
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