Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Gibson, Cruise Ink Picture Deal

In a move that spells major Tinseltown history, Hollywood hunks Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise have formed a new production company, Pariah Pictures, an outfit that will market "movies for the rest of us."

According to insiders, Cruise and Gibson began talking to one another about image problems when the idea for a merger popped up.

"You know, there are a lot of creepy people out there who still think these guys are cool," said an administrative assistant to Gibson. "Why not join forces and pitch to these fans? Some people actually like what they have to say. Anti-Semites and Scientologists need entertainment, too."

The new partners are planning a company on the scale of Dreamworks, another studio of Hollywood superpowers. Along with the big budget action pictures for which Cruise and Gibson are known, Pariah will traverse new territory, including a six-picture deal to produce children's musicals, starting with a remake of the Wizard of Oz with Michael Jackson playing the great and reclusive Oz, and John Mark Karr as the Scarecrow.

Along with the youth musicals, Cruise is planning an as-yet unnamed picture on a post-Katrina New Orleans in which he scolds survivors for "reactive thinking." Gibson is writing a treatment for a film with the working title, "An Icky Faith," featuring an slide show in which he posits that the Jews are to blame for global warming.

Onlookers hope that the strong religious views of each of the men will not jeopardize the new partnership.

"You'll see... he's gonna convert," each of them has confided to insiders about the other.

The two expect Pariah to be a major name in the film industry.

I have been away far too long..
What an ingenius coupling.
Now I can actually ignore both of them in one fell swoop by avoiding their joint ventures.
Funny stuff, S.
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