Monday, May 22, 2006


The Bearable Lightness of Warfare

Fresh from his prayer vigil of the past two weeks, Dick Cheney is showing a new face to Washington observers.

Accompanied everywhere by his new pal, Jelly-Belly-Cose, Cheney is softer, cuddlier as a result of what he calls his "nonstop negotiations with the Savior." Belli-Cose helps him to remember that his lord is always nearby, he says.

"I know everybody thinks of me as the Bad Cop of the administration, and that's certainly the role I'm willing to play. But I have to say that getting Rove off the hook for a couple of million, a faith-based auto agency, and a few more tax cuts has been a real revelation for me," he told White House insiders.

Cheney was especially pleased to learn that the administration's policies were pushing the world to ever higher point scores on the Rapture Index, a move guaranteed to resonate with the far right in the upcoming midterm elections.

"Even when we're not trying very hard, we're helping to bring about the end of the world. There's tremendous satisfaction in that," he said, pulling Belly-Cose to him for a little bear hug.

That index was scary..
Yup... American Theocracy refers to the mind set that goes with it... makes war an easier sell. Onward, Christian Soldiers!
What if they had an Armageddon and nobody came?
Well, the rapture is supposed to suck the goody-goodies up to heaven, and then... well, actually, I don't understand it all. I get the rapture stuff and the armageddon stuff all mixed up. Somewhere along the way there's a 1000 year reign of heaven on earth and... actually, this is all very confusing. The universe as an amusement park.
I'm happy here, I'm sure I'll be happy ending up wherever I am sent.

Off topic, but I had a chance to thumb through a copy of Mary Cheney's book the other day. The photo section is hilarious- Mary loos so butch in some of the pictures, she could easily pass for a man.
For her book launch, someone must have insisted she get that girlish hairdo and slap on some Max Factor, but deep inside we know she's a butch top... with her father's "crooked smile."
Crooked indeed.
Anyone see her on Letterman? He tried to embarrass her but not like he did Billy O.
My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions!

Read My Inaugural Address Online
My Site =
Your jaw will drop!
Whoo hooo! I'm not sure that my attention span will get me through the rapture!
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