Friday, April 14, 2006
General Insurrection
Gens. Newbold, Eaton, Batiste, and Zinni
Having burnt out on enabling a ninny
Called upon Rumsfeld to resign.
King George-the-Inept-But-Still-Resolute,
Said, "Don’t you be silly! Feel the toe of my boot!
The Donald protects me, brings me pretzels and cake
And tells me cool stories when I lie too awake.
His counsel assures me, is always benign.
He thinks I’m hot stuff! He should never resign!"
Said Don to the brass, "It’s a mighty good thing
You all are retired, or you’d feel the sting
of all of the power that's vested in me:
I’d say where you’d go, whom you’d fight, when you’d pee,
You’d lose MRE’s, you’d subsist but on weeds
In the army we’d have, not the army you’d need.
I’d kick in your privates, and I don’t mean First Class,
I’d yank off your stars and batter your ass!"
Said George-the-Inept, "I wish I were smarmy,
But in matters of war, who heeds the Army?
With the Lord by my side, Dick and Don at my back,
We can’t help but win, even if I’m a hack!
The daily statistics, Iraq and Iran
are manifestations of my Jesus’ plan!
Just as He has chose me, just as I am His dude,
You’re all my toy soldiers, if I’m not being rude."
Replied the six four-stars with fire in their eyes,
(Swannick and Griggs had expanded their size)
"We’ve had quite enough, you’re no more than a thief,
Certainly not our Commander in Chief!
When you were young, you were rich, hawkish wimps,
And now you’ve morphed into such corporate pimps!
We’ve had quite enough, we’ll stay silent no more,
You chicken hawk dipshits, you corporate whores!"
"That’s enough," replied Dubya, "You should know by now,
That it makes no difference, no way and no how.
I only require that my intimate staff
should shield me from news, refrain from a laugh
at my mispronounci-ations, my confusions of fact,
replace truth with illusion, bring in toady for tact.
Even if I removed the Donald from rule
I’d replace him, no doubt, with a neo-con fool."
The light broke, clouds parted, they knew it was true,
With the Dubya there would always be more of this crew,
Conceited, smug morons, t'is hopeless,for sooth,
Let’s all terminate them in ‘08’s voting booths!
Having burnt out on enabling a ninny
Called upon Rumsfeld to resign.
King George-the-Inept-But-Still-Resolute,
Said, "Don’t you be silly! Feel the toe of my boot!
The Donald protects me, brings me pretzels and cake
And tells me cool stories when I lie too awake.
His counsel assures me, is always benign.
He thinks I’m hot stuff! He should never resign!"
Said Don to the brass, "It’s a mighty good thing
You all are retired, or you’d feel the sting
of all of the power that's vested in me:
I’d say where you’d go, whom you’d fight, when you’d pee,
You’d lose MRE’s, you’d subsist but on weeds
In the army we’d have, not the army you’d need.
I’d kick in your privates, and I don’t mean First Class,
I’d yank off your stars and batter your ass!"
Said George-the-Inept, "I wish I were smarmy,
But in matters of war, who heeds the Army?
With the Lord by my side, Dick and Don at my back,
We can’t help but win, even if I’m a hack!
The daily statistics, Iraq and Iran
are manifestations of my Jesus’ plan!
Just as He has chose me, just as I am His dude,
You’re all my toy soldiers, if I’m not being rude."
Replied the six four-stars with fire in their eyes,
(Swannick and Griggs had expanded their size)
"We’ve had quite enough, you’re no more than a thief,
Certainly not our Commander in Chief!
When you were young, you were rich, hawkish wimps,
And now you’ve morphed into such corporate pimps!
We’ve had quite enough, we’ll stay silent no more,
You chicken hawk dipshits, you corporate whores!"
"That’s enough," replied Dubya, "You should know by now,
That it makes no difference, no way and no how.
I only require that my intimate staff
should shield me from news, refrain from a laugh
at my mispronounci-ations, my confusions of fact,
replace truth with illusion, bring in toady for tact.
Even if I removed the Donald from rule
I’d replace him, no doubt, with a neo-con fool."
The light broke, clouds parted, they knew it was true,
With the Dubya there would always be more of this crew,
Conceited, smug morons, t'is hopeless,for sooth,
Let’s all terminate them in ‘08’s voting booths!