Monday, April 24, 2006
Earth Day, Ought-Six
President: Thank yew, thank yew. It's great to be here in the Great State of Californey, pissing away more jet fuel and wearin' my First Fleece with the swell Presidential Seal on it an' lecturin' y'all about your addiction to oil and bike ridin' and carin' like I give a big rat's ass about the future of the planet.
When I refused to sign on to the Kyoto accords, I want you to know that the Lord and I talked about it for some time. "Lord?" I recall asking Him, "Whatest wouldest thoust havest me doest?"
Well, there was kind of a pause, and then the Lord replied, "Behold, I have given every living thing for yer use, George. It says so right in my unerring Book which you read only little pamphlet summaries of."
One thing about the Lord: he's a card!
Well then, I realized that this all was true. That's what the Lord told Adam in the Garden, and if America isn't today's Garden, I don't know what is! And every living thing has been given for my use--soldiers, natural resources, the dumb American public--even all those little black and yella and brown people all over the world, although I haven't been able to make maximum use o' them yet. I'm still working on that one. What with the Dick overstretched on executive privilege, we're running a little behind there. If it weren't for all those sweat shops, we'd be in deep dooey.
But I'm gettin' off the subject here. What I want to say here is a big ol' thank yew note to the Lord for givin' me an entire planet to play with. I intend to share it with my friends from the Lord's corporations, just as I learned to share my toys in the sandbox. We're hoping to use every living thing to make ourselves richer and more militarily dominant in the days to come.
Thanks, Lord. You've done a heckuva job with Your planet, and I intend to do ya proud.
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The whole earth day thing is lost on these sumbitches ain't it? I bet it just pisses em off when folks spout off bout gas prices and he has to explain in childs terms why Big Oil is sucking us dry and making record profits.
Never mind how fossel fuels are killing us..thats really a deep subject for that dipshit-in-chief.
Never mind how fossel fuels are killing us..thats really a deep subject for that dipshit-in-chief.
Bush celebrating Earth Day is like me celebrating the Rev. Fred Phelps' birthday.
Bush may be hearing voices from somewhere, but it ain't the Lord.
Bush may be hearing voices from somewhere, but it ain't the Lord.
I've done some thinking about the every living thing part of Genesis. To me, two things stand out: Adam was still in the garden when he got that gift; that gift was actually revoked when he got kicked out. Then when A. is tossed out, his lot is to till the hard earth.
Probably the environmentalists are the most biblical when you think about it: the relationship remains, only now the emphasis is on stewardship rather than exploitation.
Probably the environmentalists are the most biblical when you think about it: the relationship remains, only now the emphasis is on stewardship rather than exploitation.
As long as your not the former founder of Greenpeace Ms.Lulu..he has gone over to the other side..the nuclear side.
I will never agree w/nuclear energy unless and until they figure out wtf to do with the leftovers that are radioactive for 10K years.
Sorry, I went off topic..carry on..
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I will never agree w/nuclear energy unless and until they figure out wtf to do with the leftovers that are radioactive for 10K years.
Sorry, I went off topic..carry on..
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