Thursday, March 02, 2006

 

Deep Cover!


Okay, folks, a little shocker... something that'll knock The Da Vinci Code right off the best seller list... this is bigger than Jesus and the Magdalene!

The Bin Laden thing? Totally made up, a little Rove riff that pitched us all to the floor, the better to gather around Dubya for story time. See, if we united around a common enemy (much better than joining together for shared sacrifice, less is more, and all that other liberal claptrap), we'd be able to take care of lots of important national priorities-- you know, the usual--big ole tax cuts, oil for Jesus, relaxed environmental standards, the imperial presidency... nothin' like being scared shitless for turning into huddled masses who don't give a shit about breathing free...

So here he is, back under deep cover. Dubya having brought up the nasty subject of being determined to capture Bin Laden, old Dick has to don his terror duds and head back to Tora Bora, so that Dubya's minions can round him up. At first Dubya himself was going to snag him, but the guys didn't think they'd be able to keep a straight face. Then Condi was going to make the capture in those badass boots of hers... might be just the thing to propel her to the presidency in '08. Rumsfeld wanted a shot, but there was fear that the troops would rebel, since they all think he's such an asshole.

So we'll just have to see.

Of course, the Dick will be making a great sacrifice to his country: contact lenses. He just hates wearing those things.

You can say that you heard it here first.

Comments:
You are turning into quite the junior pony, m'dear!
Love it!
 
damn woman, I read this late at night and I'll be damned if it didn't scare the shit out of me. I am gonna have nitemares for sure.

But I do enjoy your work and your commentary.

Dick is the perfect foil for this.
 
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