Saturday, March 18, 2006

 

Cheney Reponds to Accusations of Stonewalling His Health Exams

Still looking a little woozy from the anesthesia, Vice President Dick Cheney was upbeat after undergoing 18 hours of major surgery to remove his pudgy body from his head.

Concerned about the deteriorating condition of Cheney's heart and circulatory system, the Bush Administration decided to take a major donor up on his offer and transplant an entire body onto the ailing vice president's head. The body was salvaged from a recent street battle in Fallujah.

Speaking upon conditions of anonymity, a hospital employee described the condition of Cheney's discarded heart. "Far from looking worn and diseased, it looked as if it had never been used."

Cheney will rest in an undisclosed location while he adjusts to his new testosterone levels.

The Bush Administration was forced to waive groundwater purity regulations near the Potomac in order to dispose of Cheney's former frame.

Comments:
Actually, Cheney's old body simply dissolved like Voldemort's after he tried to kill Baby Harry Potter.
 
"Far from looking worn and diseased, it looked as if it had never been used."

god, ain't that the friggin truth..
 
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