Thursday, February 18, 2010


The Donald Endures a Snowstorm, Calls for Revocation of Gore's Peace Prize

Flashing a little of the scientific acumen for which he is well known, Donald Trump called for the revoking of Al Gore's Nobel Prize after New York City's recent snow storm.

Obviously a bad head/bad brain day.

Clearly, the Donald needs to stay away from nature as much as he can--it's a threat to the Comb-Over.

How that man must hate Mother Nature. No wonder he spends all his time in meeting rooms. Imagine all that hired labor being undone by a stiff breeze.

When Tom Tomorrow drew this panel, I wonder if he knew that The Donald was among these dignitaries...

Monday, February 08, 2010


Palin: Ambassador of Karaoke to the Philippines

"I think that it would be absurd to not consider what it is that I can potentially do to help our country," said Sarah Palin, when pressed for details on a probable run for the White House.

What a patriot!

Now, thanks to an item in the New York Times, I think I've found the greatest contribution that La Palin can make: Karaoke star. In the Philippines.

This is one of those Hands-Across-the-Water assignments. What brings people together more than the power of shared music-making?

Of course, Sarah needs a song that embodies her personal mission. May I nominate "My Way"?

It's a song that says it all: ask her a question, and she'll give you the answer to the question she wished you'd ask. Elect her to office, and she serves the term she wants to serve, not the one those Elitists put in the state constitution.

According to the Times, in the Philippines, "
The authorities do not know exactly how many people have been killed warbling “My Way” in karaoke bars over the years in the Philippines, or how many fatal fights it has fueled. But the news media have recorded at least half a dozen victims in the past decade and includes them in a subcategory of crime dubbed the “My Way Killings.”

What greater act of courage than to restore American domain over this Sinatra/Anka (the writer--also the master who penned the masterpiece taken to its heart by the so-called Pro-Life movement, "You're Having My Baby.") She could sing that one too before the Big Finish, although it might be a little confusing to a bunch of Joe Six-Packs into their eighth round.

If she were to join the sad statistics of those who had gone before her, (she said in Nashville that she was willing "to die for the American people") she would have at least had the opportunity to articulate her basic political stance in the final moments of her gilded life. And of course, she'd be a patriot-martyr, which she has claimed to be all along.

Friday, February 05, 2010


A Perfect Storm

Sarah Palin is the new Oakland. As Gertrude Stein once said of her native city, There is no there there. She's about as real as a mansion on a movie studio's back lot, not that it matters.

Now that the Supreme Court has decided that a corporation has the same rights as a person on the First Amendment front, we're set up for centuries-long Republicanism.

Along with the corporate money that never needs to stanch its flow, we can expect to have no need of political leaders who possess any knowledge or skill, aside from a saucy wink. A figurehead will be more than satisfactory, since s/he won't have much to do with governance, anyway. Those strings will be pulled behind the scenes by whatever generation of Cheneys is up to the job.
That gosh-darn patriotism of hers can be propped up by the fiscal prestidigitation that we came to know under the new millennium's first administration.The economy? Now you see it; now you don't!

As the years with Dubya taught us, political skills have less to do with substance than with style, and should the current anti-intellectualism of Americans continue to prevail, that style will handsomely be served by Alaska's Grifter-in-Chief, who will address the teabaggers this weekend. After wearing down the American people with a blockbuster series of corporate political advertising, she and her party can usher in the New American Era.

Perhaps Richard Shelby, still flush from blocking all potential Obama appointees till he gets his local pork, will be Attorney General. And Tom Tancredo can be Secretary of the State, or better yet, Attorney General. Talk about a dream team!

I was skimming the library's new copy of Game Change today, reviewing one of the sections on Palin's preparation for the debates. She actually regretted having accepted McCain's running mate invitation. But that was before the roar of the crowd damaged what little brain power she had. Her attempts to reduce American law and foreign policy to a wad of index cards was truly touching. It was as if the debates were just another SAT, which was probably another disaster for this flirty lass.

No matter. The floodgates have been opened, and all La Palin has to do is wink at enough CEOs to get her chance to redecorate the White House.

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